Transcript
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Let's talk about a couple of these things.
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When it comes to healing emotional blocks, you mentioned weight loss.
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What does being healed emotionally have to do with weight loss?
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What's the correlation?
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So when it comes to weight gain and weight loss, I've seen many people over the years who have done all the right things, couldn't lose weight and then gained weight, and the people that just reduced their stress levels, made peace with their body and then lost the weight.
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And part of that, physiologically again has to do with adrenals and with cortisol levels and with this attachment to our body.
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Hi, I'm Glynnis Woods Mullins and I love to help women to vibe, to be more vibrant, intuitive, beautiful and empowered in midlife.
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So come on, let's vibe.
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I'm so excited to be able to talk with you about a subject that's near and dear to my heart, and that is the importance of emotional wellness as we age.
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You know, sometimes we think that that depression or anxiety or that stressed out factor or the triggers that we have in our life are things that are just the way it is and it's not going to change because you've been dealing with it for years and years and years.
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But the reality is that's not true.
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There are things that you can do, and I'm so happy to have with us JJ Fizans I hope I have pronounced that correctly.
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She is a strategist and the creator of the Empowering Minds Network, and she works with conscious spiritual truth seekers who want to remove those emotional blocks for success.
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She does a lot of clarifying exercises and she's able to help curate some personalized role maps for you to facilitate emotional healing, and I'm so excited to talk about this topic.
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Thank you so much for being on the Vibe Living Podcast.
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It's wonderful to have you here today.
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Thanks, Linus.
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I'm excited to share this information and hopefully inspire people to learn how to create a roadmap for emotional healing for themselves and to maybe adjust what they're doing so they can get better results.
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Yes, you know it's interesting because I think it really is true that we as women, you know, have a tendency to compartmentalize everything and thinking, oh, I'll get back to it later.
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Or it's not that big of a deal, because when we're masking, it's covering up the symptoms you know initially, but over time those symptoms just it's kind of like the emotional closet.
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You know, you stuff stuff into the closet and you go back and you open up the closet and you think I can put one more thing in there, but you can't and everything comes tumbling out.
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And I always say and I truly do believe this it's never too late to do something to try to emotionally heal, because emotional wellness is just as important as your physical wellness, if not more.
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So tell me about you and how you got to be so passionate about the need for people to have an emotional roadmap for healing.
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I've always been curious, my whole life been curious my whole life.
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I remember, maybe even in junior high or high school, sort of questioning why I reacted a certain way or why I felt the way I felt or why that person felt the way they felt, and although what I didn't know back then was sort of what is perpetuated in our society is victim mentality, we are very quick to blame outside forces and circumstances on how we feel.
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We do not understand what emotional empowerment or responsibility means, because we look at life and then we react to life and we don't understand that our wounds that were created from the time we were born until seven, when your brain is developing.
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You don't have a conscious brain until after seven.
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So between zero and seven your brain's just recording whatever happens in your life.
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Your parents don't show up, you cry, you record that I've been abandoned, you record that I'm not important, that I'm invisible, that I'm and it's not a choice Like we have conscious choice now to we can understand how to think and then maybe interpret or reinterpret something that we're experiencing, but we don't have that before seven.
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So those patterns, that's what your subconscious becomes.
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It becomes a whole bunch of belief systems created by you observing what's happening around you and making decisions without any other input about who you are in the world and who you are to your caregivers and, hopefully, how to get your needs met and then learning how to compensate to get that, and that all lives in our subconscious mind.
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So when you said that I would, I would pronounce that the emotional body is is where the healing happens, because the physical body responds to the emotions.
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So whether you're in a healing container, you're trying to heal something and you're in a stressful situation, you're not going to heal on that because we only hear, we only heal in parasympathetic.
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I have a 25-year background in personal training and I've been using my education in all things alternative medicine for years.
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I'm still doing it, but I'm not doing it the same way.
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I sort of branched into because of what I realized with all of my personal training clients and people who I was helping with rehabbing joints and with weight loss and with aging and menopause and the whole nine yards, that it still was a mental game.
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And I don't know if your audience knows about, or if you know about, a book called Radical Remission from Dr Kelly Turner.
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Okay, so Kelly wrote two books Radical Remission and Radical Hope.
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So in there there are 10 points, 10 pillars for radical remission.
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She studied 1500 people who had radically had remission from cancer or other terminal diseases and then she looked at everything they did and then compared the notes and across the board there were these 10 things that everybody did that helped their radical remission.
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Well, seven of them are mental, emotional and spiritual.
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You know it's interesting because you hear more and more about mindset.
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That's kind of like the new buzzword that's going on these days, but it really is important.
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The things you're yourself talk to, things you tell yourself how you think about things, how you encode the world emotionally this is information that you need to know and pay attention to.
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It's not it's it's.
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It really is more impactful than people really realize.
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Let's talk about a couple of these things.
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When it comes to healing emotional blocks, you mentioned weight loss.
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What does being healed emotionally have to do with weight loss?
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What's the correlation?
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So my latest book and I just recorded an audiobook, finally it's called the Invisible Fitness Formula Five Secrets to Release Weight and End Body Shame.
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It's called the Invisible Fitness Formula Five Secrets to Release Weight and Embody Shame.
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And while there are physical components that are necessary for weight loss and people can be doing those, however, and not get results, or doing those and start to gain weight, and that, in turn, is about our stress level, about our fight or flight, about our adrenaline, about our adrenal fatigue, about our embodiment of our body.
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So what I mean by that is a lot of people are walking around with their heads disconnected from their body, they are overthinking, they're thinking, they have to solve their problems with thinking and education and with their brain, and what they don't realize is that 88% of your subconscious is your body.
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Your body has all the answers, but you're not listening to it.
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It gives you signs, it gives you signals and if you don't answer those signals or pay attention, it will keep getting louder and louder until it takes you down, whether it be cancer or a heart attack or whatever.
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So, when it comes to weight gain and weight loss, I've seen many people over the years who have done all the right things, couldn't lose weight and then gained weight.
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And the people that just reduced their stress levels, made peace with their body and then lost the weight.
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And part of that, physiologically, again has to do with adrenals and with cortisol levels and with this attachment to our body.
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But just think of it from a personality standpoint.
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If you and as a personal trainer, this is why I wrote the first book Fit to, because I'd walk into the gym and I could feel you could palpate the energy in the air, you could feel who was in the gym working out because they wanted to, or they enjoyed it at some level or they liked it versus the people who, literally on the treadmill, you can hear them, even though they weren't saying it be like I hate this, I hate this, I hate this, I hate this.
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Oh my gosh.
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I'm so glad you're mentioning this, because there's something else.
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That's another kind of myth that a lot of women adopt when they think that they want to lose weight and the best way to do that is to go hard.
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Well, the problem with that, first of all, is that it raises your cortisol levels.
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You may get an opposite effect, but the other piece is that if you're really not enjoying it, it's not going to give you the results that you think that you might get by going hard, and instead you need to go ahead and do something that you enjoy doing, that gives you a sense of peace and comfort and it's fun, and not something that makes you miserable, because if it makes you miserable, more than likely it's not going to work as well.
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So I'm glad you mentioned that.
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There's something else you mentioned too what about, in terms of being emotionally well-informed, cancer?
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You mentioned about that study.
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It reminded me of another book called the Body Keeps the Score and how trauma and life experiences hide it in parts of our body and cause certain maladies as a result of that.
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So when it comes to these kinds of emotions that could lead to things like cancer and other kind of disease.
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How do the emotions impact that and what can you do to change that trajectory?
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Well, it's not even trauma.
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I mean, we all have trauma.
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It's really, it's like comparison, like it's.
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This is all I know.
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So if my trauma compared to your trauma, it doesn't like that.
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We don't know what it feels like to have different levels of trauma.
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We just understand that this is traumatic in my experience.
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So, just to make sure that people understand that cause, I have a client right now who is a cancer survivor and when we went back and looked at basically how she manifested her cancer and what, because I had made a statement that to my audience who knows, likes and trusts me because I wouldn't say this to anybody else, because you would hate me if you heard me say this, but the sentiment was really getting to the point of like, whatever dominant emotion you're living with is what's going to create your reality.
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It's going to what's going to adjust your chemistry.
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It's what's going to change your epigenetics.
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Whether you have a cancer gene or not, it doesn't matter.
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It matters that the environment that you're in expresses those genes.
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There's only six things that are genetic, six conditions.
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Otherwise, every other gene has the ability to be turned on and turned off based on your environment and based on how you feel, based on what you eat, based on what you think, but generally it's that sort of stress level thing.
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So when we look at her past, she didn't have any huge traumas.
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She just had general traumas.
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She had things that she was jealous about, that she was angry about, that she was frustrated about and she kept that going for years and the pressure of being a mom.
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In fact, I think you've had her on the show.
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It's Jane.
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Okay, yes, yes yes, yes Right.
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So Jane, who's a client of mine, when she came to me she was all about the physical, the physical, the physical.
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And I was like Jane no, it's not like we got to get off that path, no-transcript.
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She had this huge aha and therefore an emotional release, and then she cried.
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She's in the bathtub.
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And then she cried and she had this sort of like.
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She let go of it and then the next thing, you know, her A1C dropped, her blood sugar dropped and she has a monitor and you made a good point and I want to really drive this point home about the whole trauma.
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You're right, someone else's trauma could be, or somebody's trauma could be someone else's oh, no big deal, you know, trauma does not mean that you were in a car accident or in a violent act or had some major thing that happens, not to say that those things aren't traumatic.
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But we're talking about those things that are personal and traumatic to you, that you may not even know were traumatic to you.
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I have a reoccurring thought that happens whenever I think about this, whenever I'm talking about this, and I'm realizing that, okay, that was probably traumatizing.
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I was a ballet dancer for many years.
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I started taking it at four and got really serious about it at night.
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Now I don't know how much you know about classical ballet or training, but that in itself is traumatic.
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It's just you're having your body do stuff that it's not supposed to be doing.
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But anyway, I was at a rehearsal and it wasn't my time to be on stage and I just had to get out of there.
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We had been rehearsing for hours, which is ridiculous when I think about it, because I was only like 12 or 13.
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It's ridiculous.
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So, anyway, I go outside the school and as I am walking I see this man and he's just looking at me.
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So then I start walking faster and running and I could could sworn that I could see this man behind me walking and running, come to find out he wasn't, but that's what I saw in my mind and it was scary and traumatic to me, even though nothing happened.
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The man wasn't even noticing me.
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They called the police because I was so upset and everything else.
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I didn't rest.
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When they talked, he says no, I didn't even know, I wasn't doing anything.
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But that was traumatic.
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And I know it was traumatic because whenever I talk about trauma, that comes up in my mind.
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They were used to anyway.
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And so I, you know, worked with my, my therapist and peel back the layers and remove that blockage because it was causing other issues around dance and everything else.
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And even though I stopped dancing at 62 and I'm 67 now, if I wanted to go back to dance I would.
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I don't necessarily want to, but dance was one of those like labor of loves, with emphasis on labor I wasn't enjoying it as much as I should have been and that was the reason why, and I didn't even realize that it had had that impact on me, because it was nothing.
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It was a silly little 12-year-old, 13-year-old girl probably stressed out, trying to please everybody, working hard, dancing school and all this stuff, and it exasperated to this imaginary man running after me.
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That really wasn't, and it's these kinds of things that we think oh yeah, that was silly, I'm over it.
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Well, maybe not.
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So let's talk about that.
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Let's talk about emotional blockages, because for me that was an emotional blockage.
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How do we remove them and why is it important for us to remove them?
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Well, I mean, it's important for us to remove them so we can get what we want, whatever that is in different areas of our life, whether it be a better relationship, more connection in your relationship, a better relationship with your body.
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You know, the one thing I didn't finish just to cap off, that like that body image thing and weight loss is that your body, when you look at your body and you talk to it negatively and you say, hey, because no person.
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If I said to you, linus, you know, I don't like you, you're ugly, you're fat, you're stupid, why don't you change for me?
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Will you please change for me?
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You'd be like what the hell Like?
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No, I'm not going to change for you.
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Your body literally rejects you when you're mean to it.
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If you are not, shame does not make anything happen.
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Shame when you shame yourself, you literally your body, just like a stubborn child, is saying nope, I'm not moving until you love me for who I am.
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So you have to make peace with who you are.
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I have another client who just recently finally had a breakthrough with this whole mother-daughter weight thing and body image and she wasn't doing anything differently and she released some weight because of her attention to the love of herself, the acceptance of herself, so, anyway.
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So now in terms of the blockages.
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So that's why we want to remove these blocks, because obviously it's preventing us from getting or experiencing or being whatever we want to be.
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How do we remove them?
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Well, there's several different ways.
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Neurologically, when you create a pathway in your brain and, just like with exercise, if you do the same exercise over and over again, you get used to it, you get good at it, it becomes natural and it becomes normal.
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But there are a lot of other pathways that you can create.
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We can create new neural plasticity through.
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In fact, I created a program called rewiring your core wound patterns, because in order for you to have these changes, you have to do some rewiring.
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Now it's challenging in that it's normally somewhat uncomfortable, it's somewhat scary or vulnerable, but that's the whole point.
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It's like again, think of exercise.
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You're going to go do a sport or a new exercise for the first time and all of a sudden you're like oh my God, I didn't realize I had these muscles in this area, because you have this soreness of doing this new exercise that your body wasn't used to.
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Well, that's a version of creating new neural pathways for your muscular response to those exercises.
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So.
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So how do we do?
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It is really more personalized.
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There's not.
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There's lots of tools, but that's again why I created the roadmap to emotional healing, because so many people are doing similar tools, expecting same results as other people, and they're not.
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And you have to realize that your own journey is personalized and your.
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What you do next is Pilates needs to have a reason, a well thought out, with the expectation of.
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As a trainer, I used to have people who would go to Pilates and they would go to Pilates on the machine and they would expect that Pilates would have them lose a hundred pounds.
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And I'm like Pilates is never going to have you lose a hundred pounds.
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Pilates by itself or Hatha yoga, right?
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They just had this expectation that all of a sudden, I'm going to go to this class, I'm going to spend two hours or 90 minutes twice a week, three times a week, and I'm going to lose a lot of weight because I'm spending all this time Like we're not, we're not actually getting into.
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What do you expect from this exercise?
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So I think that it's a personalized plan, but let's just go over a little bit of what you know.
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What people choose.
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They choose Reiki, they choose therapy, they choose different kind of healing modalities, they choose yoga and all have a place, but they are all going to have a different place or maybe not a place in your own roadmap based on your core wounds.
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So, to bring it back to how do we even start this process?
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You need to know what your core wounds are because, I'm sorry, I don't care how many years you've been in therapy not you personally, but anybody who's listening.
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If you don't know what your core wounds are, what are you working on?
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Your circumstances?
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What happened yesterday with your husband?
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Or yesterday with your mother?
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Great, guess what.
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That all is about.
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Stimulating a core wound Because, like you said about the traumas, we all don't respond the same way to different things.
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How I interpret the world, what pains me is a wound, and if I don't know what that is and I don't know how to heal that or I'm not attending to it, then all I'm doing is managing circumstances and I'm saying, okay, well, in this circumstance, if I avoid that person and I just become this way, I won't get triggered.
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Let me manage my triggers instead of healing what's on the inside, so I don't have to try to control everybody around me.
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It's interesting because, you're right, people don't really take time.
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We are not very much of a peel back the layer society.
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We have a tendency to want to try to get well through, you know, treating the symptoms and not the causation, and the problem with that is that we start having other symptoms pop up because we're using pharmaceuticals or other methods that probably aren't as healthy to mask the symptoms.
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But now, after someone has identified those core wounds and they're ready to do some work and be vulnerable, what are some of the exercises or modalities or practices?
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Do you work with them on?
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Well, again, it's going to depend on the core wound.
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So, for instance, if someone has a core wound of being devalued, the first step, after understanding how the circuitry works because when we get triggered we didn't consciously choose to get triggered, it's a pathway that's been set up so our subconscious interprets a situation in a certain way that looks like our core wound and so we have this knee-jerk response, and it could be even in trauma situation with PTSD.
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It's the same thing, this knee-jerk response, and it could be even in trauma situation with PTSD.
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It's the same thing.
00:19:51.464 --> 00:20:11.029
You come back, you know a soldier comes back from war, here's a gun, a car, do a backfire on the car and it sounds like a gunshot and they go into panic, they go into sweating and their body's shaking because they have PTSD, which we all have a variation of PTSD right In smaller, in smaller degrees that we react physically, like our physical body has in a reaction because we don't feel safe.
00:20:11.029 --> 00:20:17.425
And that's what this all kind of comes down to is the principle that we have in order to heal, especially physical things, you have to feel safe.
00:20:17.425 --> 00:20:23.507
You have to find a way to learn how to feel safe in the world and to love yourself, and those are two things most people don't feel.
00:20:23.507 --> 00:20:41.486
So if someone has a core wound of being devalued, and now we understand how the circuit runs and I'm just going to grab real quick somebody's core wound map because I have with my clients I go through something called a core wound map and so that they understand so, for instance, okay, this, let's go with disapproved of, so this person, one of the core wounds is disapproved of.
00:20:41.486 --> 00:20:54.017
And when they when when disapproved of gets triggered, they go to feelings of embarrassment, lonely and hurt, and then they react by withdrawing, avoiding self-deprecating and being passive-aggressive.
00:20:54.566 --> 00:21:04.836
So when you understand the pattern that's the first step you can catch yourself in the pattern and go oh, I just, somehow my brain just made that mean that I was disapproved of.
00:21:04.836 --> 00:21:13.778
So you have to be able to create a little bit of conscious space between, and be an observer of your own actions and reactions and emotions to know that it's there.
00:21:13.778 --> 00:21:15.489
So you can go oh, that's what that is.
00:21:15.489 --> 00:21:20.109
Otherwise, if we don't see it, then we keep repeating the patterns in our lives.
00:21:20.109 --> 00:21:25.367
We keep repeating it with people, with work, with money, with our body, with our loved ones.
00:21:25.367 --> 00:21:27.334
So we have to identify the pattern.
00:21:27.654 --> 00:21:32.413
Then the second step in the map is for you to take responsibility for how you do it to yourself.
00:21:32.413 --> 00:21:36.537
So, just like anything, your core wounds happened when you were between zero and seven.
00:21:36.537 --> 00:21:42.204
Okay, that's fine If it was just one thing that happened, if your entire life looked differently because that created a belief system.
00:21:42.204 --> 00:21:46.711
But the problem is, we repeat that belief system, we believe it to be true.
00:21:46.711 --> 00:21:50.695
So then the question becomes to the person who is disapproved of.
00:21:50.695 --> 00:21:54.280
Well, how do you disapprove of yourself?
00:21:54.280 --> 00:21:58.195
So, identifying the ways we keep the pattern and the belief alive.
00:21:58.195 --> 00:22:08.317
So for this person, it was comparing herself to others and finding herself lacking, not accepting herself, without needing to be perfect, negative self-talk and to deflect compliments.
00:22:08.317 --> 00:22:11.250
So now we know how this stays active.
00:22:11.250 --> 00:22:18.776
This belief stays alive because these are the things that this person or somebody does in order to make it a belief that's very strong.
00:22:19.396 --> 00:22:21.709
So then the next step is how do I rewire that?
00:22:21.709 --> 00:22:27.589
Well, rewiring needs you to step outside of your comfort zone and do something to approve of yourself.
00:22:27.589 --> 00:22:31.077
So, for instance, a lot of people I might have them do some mirror work.
00:22:31.077 --> 00:22:37.711
I might have them like this person is a singer and I said well, go to a karaoke night and they don't have any problem doing karaoke.
00:22:37.711 --> 00:22:49.852
But I was like you know, go start putting yourself out there more often from the place of because I approve of me, because I think you know and I have her doing affirmations of the things that she does well or the things that about her that she likes.
00:22:49.852 --> 00:22:52.673
So you know, doing some journal exercises.
00:22:52.673 --> 00:22:57.698
It really just depends on, again, what the wound is and then what your habits and behaviors are.
00:22:57.698 --> 00:23:02.021
But then you can dial it back and say, well, what would it look like if I approved of myself?
00:23:02.021 --> 00:23:08.705
What thing have I said?
00:23:08.705 --> 00:23:09.528
I wanted to do that I'm too afraid to do.
00:23:09.528 --> 00:23:10.150
And you put yourself out there.
00:23:10.170 --> 00:23:18.726
In one of my last Rewire groups last year I had a chef and she had been trying for 20 years to put herself out there and have her own business and by the end of the three-month program she had her own business and clients.
00:23:18.726 --> 00:23:24.965
But it took 20 years the first 20, because she was in this cycle of repeating the patterns.
00:23:24.965 --> 00:23:36.376
But when we looked at it and she understood it, and she understood that in order for me to heal this, I have to go into a place where I'm uncomfortable, I'm afraid, and if I do that a couple of times, that's what creates neuroplasticity.
00:23:36.376 --> 00:23:38.773
Then it's easy and now it's easy.
00:23:38.773 --> 00:23:43.832
So now there's no shame, there's no fear about putting herself out there, and now she has a business, finally after 20 years.
00:23:43.832 --> 00:23:45.757
So that's the personalization.
00:23:45.757 --> 00:23:54.990
The rewiring is absolutely personalized, but you know things from any.
00:23:54.990 --> 00:23:57.280
Anybody can benefit from mirror work or ho'oponopono or affirmations, or, you know, doing things that are physical.
00:23:57.280 --> 00:23:58.023
Everybody can benefit at some point.
00:23:58.023 --> 00:24:02.356
But to the degree that it's going to actually heal your wound is again a personal exploration.
00:24:03.384 --> 00:24:06.307
Yeah, thank you so much for that explanation, because it makes a lot of sense.
00:24:06.307 --> 00:24:24.539
I've heard a lot about NLP and I've taken a couple NLP classes, and one of the things that I'm struck with is that many times the solutions to some of these issues are simple, but it's all about the implementation and consistency in the belief system that makes the difference in terms of how impactful it is.
00:24:24.539 --> 00:24:52.696
And that's when you know working with a coach or someone like you really makes a difference, because it really isn't something that, if you really want it to be long lasting and leveraging the effects to the maximum, it's really something you want to do with the help of someone else, because you know we see ourselves one way, another person sees us another way and there's just things that we're just not seeing because we're not ready to see it, or we just don't see it.
00:24:52.696 --> 00:24:56.134
So I think that's wonderful that you're providing that kind of help.
00:24:56.134 --> 00:24:58.210
Now you do this virtually as well.
00:24:58.210 --> 00:24:58.971
Is that correct?
00:25:00.054 --> 00:25:01.257
I do it only virtually.
00:25:02.567 --> 00:25:03.872
Okay, okay, fantastic.
00:25:03.872 --> 00:25:04.473
Where are you?
00:25:04.473 --> 00:25:05.477
Are you in California?
00:25:05.905 --> 00:25:06.066
I am.
00:25:06.528 --> 00:25:07.411
Okay, great, so am I.
00:25:07.411 --> 00:25:08.515
I thought so, okay.