Reprogramming Your Mind for Self-Acceptance, Body Positivity, and Holistic Fitness

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so when was the last time you heard somebody say, well, I've done this diet, that diet, this diet and nothing sticks?

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And I can tell you right now, as far as diet is concerned, I'm anti-diet.

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I mean, um, I believe that what you put in your mouth really does govern you know how you feel, how you might look in terms of gaining weight, but the idea of restricting calories and all that kind of stuff, it just puts a negative slant on it.

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There is a way to stay in shape and to lose weight without starving yourself, but I think the first step is starting with an idea of being positive and loving about how you are right now, and that's what we're going to be talking about.

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How you are right now.

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And that's what we're going to be talking about the idea of loving who you are and what you look like, even before you start your weight loss journey.

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And so I'm so glad to introduce you today Rachel Lavin.

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She is the published author of I love this title the Donut Diaries.

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We're going to find out what that is, but she's a professional speaker, a body love educator and a certified health coach.

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She grew up in Northern California and she's also lived in Hawaii, vancouver, portland, greenville she's just lived everywhere and about 2000 is when she started her career and became an ACE certified group fitness instructor, and she has been teaching a plethora of classes, from aqua aerobics to chair classes Wow, what a broad span.

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And in 2007 is when she got certified as an ACA personal trainer, and throughout her travels she has worked with all kinds of sizes of women and she decided in 2020 to write a book about her own personal experience because, even though she has all those credentials in fitness, she too has struggled with her weight.

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So I think it would be fantastic for you all to meet her and to hear her story, because very rarely do you hear a personal trainer talk about their own weight loss journey and some of the own struggles that they have.

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But it's that very thing and the very philosophy that she imparts in her book, donut Diaries, that I want to talk about.

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Rachel, welcome to the Vibe Living Podcast program.

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It is wonderful to have you here today.

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Thank you so much, linus.

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I am so looking forward to this conversation today, so thank you.

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Well, I got to say because, you know, I've always been a really skinny mini most of my life and, as my audience knows, as my listeners know that when I turned 64, almost three years ago, I literally felt like I woke up and all of a sudden I was like what the heck is this in the back, what is this extra butt?

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And then he's like what's going on?

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And I had, I guess, what you would call a delayed menopause.

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It was all hormonal, hormonal weight gain, which is very different than, uh, you know, gaining weight because of just what you put in your mouth.

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And I went through this journey.

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First of all, I'm just being frustrated because instead of a size six, I was a size eight.

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You know, come on, mom.

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But I but someone told me he said, let first, before you, even think about trying to find a way to reduce the weight, even though I'm certified in hormones and how to manage them and everything else for myself, dr Hill, thyself went out the door, and so one of the first things they told me was you've got to love yourself where you are right now and then begin the journey.

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And while intellectually I kind of understood that I've talked to women about that myself.

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It was so tough to do.

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Why is that?

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Why is it that women have a problem with just loving themselves where they're at, and why is it important for them to do so?

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If they want to be able to move forward in their fitness?

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Well, that is an amazing story and thank you for sharing.

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And I love that first question because I think we are all born into this body almost programmed to hate it, almost programmed to fight with it, almost programmed to always figure out a way to alter it.

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Instead of this is my body.

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I look different than you look.

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I am, you know, just beautiful the way I am.

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But how do we embrace that Our bodies are a gift, yet strive to be the most healthy version of that body?

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And I think this is where I come in, because, like you mentioned in your intro about me, and I think this is where I come in because, like you mentioned in your intro about me, I've been struggling with my body since 11 years old and only because of those struggles did I enter the fitness industry.

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But did I have any idea that it was going to become something else, something bigger, something not even about me, yet using my story to help other people, something not even about me yet using my story to help other people.

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So I just think that if I can help women, and men too, but if I can help women love their bodies where they're at, yet be the healthiest version of that, then that's what I'm doing.

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I think body love, body positivity gets so convoluted because you know it's either this or that and it doesn't have to be.

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There's so much in between.

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There's so much that every woman, their own story, plays a part in that, and that's what we have to understand.

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We're all individuals.

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You know, it's so interesting too, because I find that most women always find something wrong with themselves anyway, even if they look so-called perfect to us.

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We're going to find something that we're not happy with, and it's really kind of like a reprogramming and starting in a different space and a different way of thinking.

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So how do you get your clients to begin to look at themselves in a different way?

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They have to go back to the beginning.

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They have to understand that something was said to you.

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You had an experience.

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You watched your mother, your grandmother, the women in your life when you were a little girl girl say and do negative and harmful things to their body and you're like, oh, that's my story too, and so you know that it becomes your belief system.

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Well, my mom was always on a diet.

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My mom was heavy, I'm gonna be heavy.

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I mean, it's just.

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If we sat down and calculated the amounts of minutes that we spend thinking about our own bodies on a daily basis, I'm sure we would have, like you know, a trillion vacation days saved up in just that process, because it's constant.

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It's constant Whether you understand that, whether you recognize that, believe that it's true, we are always thinking about ourselves.

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And if we can learn to understand that, yes, her health is important, yes, we have to think about it a certain amount of time.

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But to let go of those I call it a prison, to be honest with you.

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To let go of that prison that you are constantly in your head about yourself and then listening to other women and other people about their bodies.

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It's just, it's a constant conversation that needs to be flipped.

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How I'm going to do that, I still don't know.

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Well, it's an ongoing journey, isn't it?

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We never quite know exactly how we're going to feel about what we're doing in our weight loss journey, but I have found in working with women when it comes to hormonal weight gain is the first thing is to have an open up open enough mind that whatever advice you get or whatever you read about, or whatever, to actually act on it.

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I mean, I think many of us have all kinds of ideas on how we could feel better and look better, but very rarely do we actually act on it, actually carry it through and do it.

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How do you encourage your clients to actually begin to act on the things that you're sharing with them that can help them in terms of their body positivity?

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It's a slow journey and I think we, as humans, want the quick fix and we want to do everything in one moment and expect this, you know, amazing result the next morning.

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And if it worked like that, we wouldn't even be having this conversation.

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So, to kind of just take a deep breath, sit in, sit in what it is you want for yourself and then take it one step at a time, because this I, you know, you and I are keep continually using the word journey, because that's what it is, it's it's, it's a process, it is something that we as humans do not like to take the slow road.

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But our bodies are smart, our bodies are very smart and we have forgotten, through our evolution of dieting and diet culture, how to trust our bodies.

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And, honestly, your body has a set point.

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It knows what it wants, it knows what it needs and it knows where it wants to be.

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Does that change with age, menopause, hormones, stress, babies?

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Absolutely, but if you just allowed your body to be, you would not have to deal with this struggle.

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I know that's a deeper conversation and I need to give it more context, but, to simplify it, our bodies know what it needs and by pain, by discomfort, by disease, by illness, is its way of screaming at you that it's not getting what it needs.

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Yeah, that's so true and I tell my clients when it comes to cravings.

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Usually your cravings come from something that the body needs, some kind of nutrient Like, for instance, if you're craving chocolate, more than likely you're short in magnesium.

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You know, maybe potassium, when you, you know, are craving gosh, I need a really nice green salad.

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The reason why you're craving that is your body's letting you know that it needs some of the minerals and nutrients that come from a fresh green salad.

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The cravings usually are trying to tell you something.

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But I got to ask you this question before I forget Donut diaries.

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Okay, where did that conversation?

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Where'd that come from?

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First of all, the title of your book, and because it seems like the antithesis of what we want to be thinking about right when we are dropping rate.

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In fact, I have to tell you every time I see that title I really want to go and get some of.

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And there was no shame, there was nothing.

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Oh, you can't eat that.

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It wasn't.

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It was not about that.

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It was about spending time with my uncle getting a fun pretty little rainbow sprinkled donut, eating it and being done with it.

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And as you diet, as you get older and people's opinions or you can't eat donuts, those are just going to make you fat.

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And then, of course, you believe that, and so donuts, for me, were the one of many foods that I never allowed myself because, again, I was always struggling with my fatness, and so when I decided to ditch diet culture once and for all, I remember going to get a donut and I was like I'm going to, I'm going to do this.

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Wow, I do admire about you, and for those of you who are looking at the video version, maybe you're on spotify or you look at the youtube channel or you're in the, the private group and you can see it.

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Uh, rachel is lovely, but she is not a size six.

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I don't think right, uh.

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And so some people might say, my goodness, what made you decide to get into fitness?

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Now, my thought is that when people see you, they see somebody they can relate to, because the average size of a woman here in the United States is between the sizes of 12 and 14.

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It's not size one and two, and I was just wondering what motivated you to get into fitness in the first place.

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A couple of things.

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One, initially selfishly, was my own body.

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How better to control the size of my body.

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But to be a group X instructor or a dance instructor or a personal trainer, I mean you don't, and I use this word.

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In my past life I didn't have an excuse to not exercise if that wasn't my career.

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And but as my involvement in the fitness industry evolved, I realized how many women were struggling and how many women felt so alone, Like why can't this go away?

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Why can't, why, why, why, why?

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And it's really grown into something bigger and deeper.

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And I understand that all those years that I felt alone, so are these women and I got to bridge that gap, because we are not alone, ladies.

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We're not.

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Yes, and you talk about that in your book.

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You know, talk about, you know how important it is, especially when you are, and a change that you want to also take your mind and your soul through, or, as I like to say, your spirit through.

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It's an evolution and I always say that if you know during your wellness journey any parts of the mind, body, spirit or the mind, body, soul that is off a little bit, you want to address that because they all work together to get you to where you want to be.

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And I know you talk a lot about this because you talk in your book about the three pillars of fitness.

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What are those three pillars of fitness and why is it so important?

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For me.

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I've learned over the years why my diets failed, and that's because I did not treat my body as a gift.

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I would either over exercise, under eat and, you know, just run myself ragged.

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And as I've gotten older I'm in my fifties now in the past 10 years I've been on this journey of health at every size and learn that for me, I can't have homeostasis in my body and peace in my body and my emotional health If I don't have the adequate amount of rest, if I don't have the adequate amount of nourishment, which means my food, my drink, my water and the adequate amount of movement.

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And I'm still at 52 figuring out what that perfect recipe is.

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But I know those three pillars are essential to that.

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And as I age there, those things need to change too, and I just have to.

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You know I said this earlier, but I got to go along with the ride with my body because it tells me what it needs.

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But now the change the difference is is that I listen.

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Oh, that's.

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That's one of the magic things of actually acting on the information that you get.

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You want to listen to what your body is telling you in concert with that, because, first of all, the body has muscle memory.

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It's amazing If you are a person who used to work out a lot and you stopped for whatever reason and you decide you want to go back to it.

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It's amazing how the body will remember and you'll get some of that muscle tone back.

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But let's talk about the individual who may not have that particular body memory, but they're getting older and the doctor is saying and this is true as you get older, you want to move more than maybe what you might have moved when you were in your 20s.

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And if you never really moved a lot in your 20s, you're thinking, oh my gosh, how am I going to do that?

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So how do you get women to understand the importance of this and what kinds of things do you tell them to do to increase their movement as they age?

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Well, it's very important for me to understand, like you mentioned, what their background in.

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I also meet you where you're at, because if you don't like to step foot in a gym, I need to know why.

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Did something happen to you?

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Were you shamed?

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Did you get together with a personal trainer who just kind of wrecked your body?

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I mean, there's so many questions that I have to ask a new client.

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But I also am all about you figuring out what the movement type is best for you and I.

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There's many there's walking, there's swimming, there's dancing, there's hiking, there's weight training.

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There are so many forms of movement that one of them is going to feel good to you.

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You have to be open and willing to do a little research and try a little bit of everything to figure out what makes you feel good.

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And I have never been that kind of trainer that is like you come in with the first time and I'm going to kick your butt and you're going to be able to walk out of the room because what's that going to do?

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That's only going to make you feel worse.

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And I always tell people your first couple of sessions with me.

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They might not even feel like anything because A I'm getting to know your body B.

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I'm seeing how your body moves naturally and figuring out what the best recipe for you is.

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Yeah, that's you know, and I have to say, as someone who is also certified in training, going hard after 50, or maybe even after 40, but just going hard is not always the best way to achieve that end result.

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In fact, you might get opposite results.

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Of course, when you go hard, you're going to build muscle mass and of course the muscle mass is going to make it seem like you've gained weight.

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But I'm not talking about that.

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I'm talking about the going hard and your cortisol levels raising, because when your cortisol levels levels raise, that's when things get to be really interesting, and they're already raising.

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When you're in menopause and then you're going hard at the gym, it's raising some more.

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You got some stress going on, because after all, midlifers have a lot of stress, and you got this triple whammy and you've gained 10 pounds.

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You're like I'm going to the gym and it's because of the hormonal levels, so you want to.

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I feel like women at this stage of life.

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First of all, give yourself grace.

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You know we've gone through a lot by the time you get to the 50s.

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You've been through a lot.

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You've probably.

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You may have given birth, you may have gotten married, maybe got divorced.

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You've had maybe several different kinds of jobs.

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You've got kids who might be college age or maybe they're having children.

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There's a lot of change and now your body is changing and you're feeling like, okay, I gotta do something about this, and I just see that giving yourself grace is one of the first steps, allowing yourself to just be, as you had mentioned, and I wanted to encourage everybody to take a look at all your links.

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I love your website, by the way, and I love the book, and you guys take a look at the book and purchase the book because, first of all, it's written with a sense of humor and I think that's so important because sometimes we can be so tough on ourselves and also, the other thing is that it gives you an opportunity to look at yourself and to realize that, as you mentioned, you're not alone.

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You're not the only person who's gone through that journey, and I really appreciate, rachel, you spending the time with us and sharing your story and and your expertise and talent.

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It's just been wonderful having you here today.

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Well, thank you so much for this opportunity.

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I appreciate it.

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Absolutely.

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And for those of you want to find out more about Rachel Levin, wellness and the wonderful things that she is doing to help women to move forward in a healthy way, please click on all those links on the show page and check her out.

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And once again, thank you so much for joining us on the Vibe Living podcast.

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I know you could choose many other podcasts, so the fact that you are sitting here or doing whatever you're doing and listening to us makes me so happy.

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And thank you so much for putting us in the top 10% of Apple Podcasts.

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And I have one more thing to say Please like, share, comment and subscribe to the podcast.

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Have a fantastic day and don't forget that you want to be vibrant, intuitive, beautiful and empowered in midlife, so don't forget to vibe.

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Bye-bye everybody.

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Forget to vibe.

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Bye-bye everybody.

00:20:22.647 --> 00:20:31.421
Oh, rachel, thank you so much for sharing on the podcast.

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It's just wonderful listening to you and hearing your point of view and I think it's so relevant.

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And I also admire that you decided to make fitness a part of your career and not just something that you did personally so that you could help other women.

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And the reason why I admire that is that we need more women who are what we call normal.

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You know working out, because I always say it's not what you look like, it's what your health is like.

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That's what's most important.

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What are your thoughts about that?

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I yes, I do agree with you, especially at my age now, but we're still dealing with you know, girls, teens, young 20 year olds who want to look good, and I don't begrudge them at all.

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But I'm hoping that with my message and other women like you who are teaching us to feel good in our bodies, to love our bodies, that the extremes that we go to in our youth are actually going to.

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You're going to pay the price for that as you get older.

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Restrictive dieting, any kind of injectables, those kinds of things are going to send your body, may not right away, may not in your 30s, but for sure in your older years you're going to ask for problems, joint issues.

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You know I'm not a doctor, but you know I work around enough specialists to understand that these things are doing damage to our systems.

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You're going to ask for disease.

00:21:58.945 --> 00:22:13.701
So if you can get to the point where you just understand that if you move your body, you rest your body, you nourish your body, you really weight loss is just going to be a factor of those three.

00:22:13.865 --> 00:22:32.230
Exactly, it is going to adjust itself to a weight that is most comfortable.

00:22:32.230 --> 00:22:40.507
Now, of course, the interesting thing is like, in my case, the weight that I think is most comfortable is 20 pounds heavier than when I was with them, when I was in my 30s.

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But the reality is when I was in my 30s I was underweight.

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I was having 50 million kids.

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It was so funny.

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I can remember one time where I had I was, I had just had my fourth child and my goddaughter was home from college and over the years, when she would come home, I was either just had a baby or I was pregnant, you know, basically.

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And so when she came home that summer, she, she pulled her mom to the side.

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She's like mom, what's wrong with Lynn?

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And she looks.

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She said, oh, she's just not pregnant.

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It's been a year since she had a last baby.

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But you know, our bodies are funny.

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And finally, you know as my girlfriend said, when I got older I began to get lady bumps or curves for the first time in my life, you know, and I had to learn to love my body in a different way.

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I had to learn to enhance my vibe, basically, and learn how to find a new way of loving myself, because it wasn't, I wasn't unhealthy, I was just a little bit larger, that's all, but not unhealthy.

00:23:46.570 --> 00:23:58.446
So tell me, rachel, how do you vibe, how do you stay vibrant and how do you increase your intuition and what do you do to enhance your beauty and how do you stay empowered to juggle everything to do?

00:23:58.487 --> 00:23:58.747
it all.

00:23:58.747 --> 00:24:07.306
That is a big question, but I think the simple answer is that I wake up every morning with gratitude that I woke up.

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I mean to remind myself that my body is a gift and it deserves to be treated as such, that even when so I dieted for you know, almost four decades, and so I have to I love the word you use to give myself grace to understand that 10, eight to 10 years of being off restrictive dieting, my body is probably still healing, and I know that my emotional health, regarding how my body looks, is still healing.

00:24:35.650 --> 00:24:54.696
But I've given myself enough power, I've given myself enough tools that when I do get a glimpse of myself or see myself in a picture and my initial reaction is to be harmful and hateful towards myself, I I say to myself this is just a moment.

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You live that way for so long, that this is just a moment and you are safe, you are beautiful.

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Today or right now, I have to.

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I have to break it down to the most minimal seconds when I feel that way.

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But I am very grateful that I've been doing this a while now, so I, most days, I don't even think about my body anymore, which is such a bigger gift than having to do what I just said, because in my past life I would literally just be constantly ruminating about my body or what it's not doing or what it is doing, and just to not even think about it.

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That is the real gift for me.

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That is a gift and I think you look beautiful.

00:25:35.250 --> 00:25:38.151
I believe that you know we were created.

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However, we were created when we want to maintain, you know, health and in some cases, maintaining health might mean that the person needs to lose weight, for, you know, for health reasons.

00:25:49.710 --> 00:26:01.366
I'm not negating that, but this whole thing of losing the weight so you can fit into the size two that you wore in high school and now you're 60 I'm not sure about that part.

00:26:01.366 --> 00:26:07.618
I'm not sure about that part, but I I just love your wisdom and thank you so much for sharing with us.

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I know you're going to inspire others and encourage still yet more women to be well in their mind, body and spirit and to embrace all of who they are with love.

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So thank you so much, rachel, for joining us here today.

00:26:18.894 --> 00:26:20.910
Thank you so much for having me.