Sept. 24, 2024
From Setbacks to Superpowers: Embracing Empowerment Through Resilience and Vision"
In this empowering episode of the V.I.B.E. Living Podcast, Lynnis is joined by the insightful Cherri Walston, a leadership coach with a strong background in corporate training and development. Together, they explore the power of resilience, the strength of vision, and how these elements can be harnessed to inspire others.
Cherri shares her incredible journey of overcoming visual impairment caused by an autoimmune condition. Instead of letting this challenge hold her back, she transformed it into a superpower that fuels her passion for empowering women. Her story is nothing short of inspiring, and her wisdom offers so much to learn.
In this episode, you'll discover:
Cherri’s Journey of Resilience
Learn how Cherri turned a life-altering autoimmune condition into a gift that now empowers the women she supports.
Identifying and Harnessing Your Superpowers
The importance of recognizing your unique strengths and using them to inspire others.
Creating Work-Life Harmony
Practical tips for balancing the demands of professional success and personal fulfillment, even as a high-achieving woman.
Setting Boundaries and Saying ‘No’ Gracefully
Cherri shares strategies for overcoming societal pressures and setting healthy boundaries.
The Power of Feedback and Self-Care
Learn how seeking constructive feedback and prioritizing self-care can lead to greater success and well-being.
Building Self-Trust and Accepting Affirmations
Cherri and Lynnis dive deep into why trusting yourself and embracing affirmations are crucial steps to live in alignment with your values.
Making Deliberate, Value-Driven Choices
Discover how to make choices that reflect your vision and bring fulfillment in midlife and beyond.
Tune in for a treasure trove of wisdom and practical strategies that inspire you to lead a more empowered and fulfilling life!
Bio
Cherri is an accomplished Human Resources Development Professional with over 19 years of experience delivering a high level of success. Her experience ranged from Training Manager, Corporate Trainer, Leadership Training & Coaching positions.
Cherri transitioned from the corporate arena in 2018 and launched her coaching business HER Exit Solutions, with a mission to empower high-achieving women leaders, entrepreneurs, and female go-getters say ‘NO’ with out guilt so they can accomplish more and achieve true work-life harmony.
Cherri is an inspirational speaker, and Work & Life Mentor. She is also the author of, HER Exit Strategy: The Working Woman’s Freedom Plan to Live Your Big Vision.
In her spare time, she loves to play golf, listen to smooth jazz, and travel.
Website
https://cherriwalston.com
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To find out more about Lynnis and what is going on in the V.I.B.E. Living World please go to https://link.tr.ee/Lynnis
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If you would like to be a guest on the V.IB.E. Living Podcast please email me lynnis@vibewellnesswoman.com.
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Chapters
00:00 - Empowering Women Overcome Visual Impairment
08:32 - Balancing Work Life Integration for Women
18:32 - Learning to Say No and Reflect
Transcript
WEBVTT
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How have you kept yourself motivated, even though you have a challenge in terms of your visual impairment?
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I was so doggone, stubborn I just said this is not going to take me out Now.
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Initially, when I found out I had this issue and it's from an autoimmune condition with retina and I admit I was troubled and I questioned am I going to really get to pursue things?
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You know, go back to school, get my degrees?
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You know, buy a home, get married, all these things I had in question.
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But then when I began to really pray about it and I didn't look at this situation as whoa it's me, I looked at it as a gift.
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That gift showed me the gift that I could give to others how to overcome your obstacles and how to adapt and be flexible.
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It doesn't mean that I can't do it.
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I might have to do it.
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Hi, I'm Glynis Woods Mullins and I love to help women to vibe, to be more vibrant, intuitive, beautiful and empowered in midlife.
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So come on, let's vibe.
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I'm so glad to have you here on the Vibe Living Podcast today.
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Thanks, sherry.
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Please tell us a little bit about yourself and how you became so passionate about the idea of women over 50 and beyond becoming high achievers.
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Sure, I've always had a vision how I saw myself showing up in the world, especially as a young girl, and it was kind of my way of escaping, you know, the bullies and all the things that I didn't like.
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So I would just always visualize who Cherie wanted to be.
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And so I carried that vision into my adult years and I was just so hungry for personal development I guess I can call myself a personal development guru because I was into books and workshops and all these different things just to really elevate myself.
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And so this vision that I had of myself was that I wanted to help other people grow and develop.
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And that's when I started pursuing my career in the training and development field, and so I held roles as training specialist training manager.
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Then my last role was a leadership performance coach, and I considered myself a high achieving woman, simply because it always starts out with the vision.
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I had the vision, then I put, put together the plan and the strategy and I executed it.
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And so now I'm in this space of, I would say, reinventing myself at 61.
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I'm no longer in corporate America and I left in 2000.
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Well, I wouldn't say I left, because you know how that is transitioned me out.
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So I thought, well, hey, you know, here's the time for me.
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I don't want to go back.
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I was 57 at the time and I said let me continue to stay on the path that I believe that I was called to do, to really help people grow and develop.
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And that took me into the space of serving women.
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I did that in the corporate arena, serving women leadership as well as men.
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But my passion was there and there I developed a women's leadership program and I started coaching on the side, because I was working my job full time and I was coaching women on the side and really coaching them through overcoming their perceived limitations.
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Then I moved into the space of creating a vision beyond your nine to five.
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Because, interestingly, when I talk about vision, that's the first thing that I work with when my clients.
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I start with vision what do you see yourself doing?
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What does your life look like?
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I start with vision.
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What do you see yourself doing?
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What does your life look like?
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Because little did I know.
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While I was practicing visualizing my ideal situation as a young girl, I didn't know that I would be in a struggle of my eyesight and now I'm visually impaired.
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So it's interesting, I said, god has a funny way of teaching me how to live by my inner vision light, not by my out of vision circumstances.
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You know, that's really an amazing story, I'm sure many people wonder well, how did you even get the motivation to continue to try to do something on your own when you realized you were visually impaired?
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Well, the thing is, I was having visual issues for about 30 years and it really didn't get bad until I got in my early fifties.
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So, even though I was still struggling a little bit, I learned how to navigate.
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So no one really knew that I was visually impaired, because I was a master at navigating and I still held this, this vision, for myself.
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I didn't see my limitations, I didn't have perceived limitations.
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I found that I learned how to be resilient and I wanted to.
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I wanted to show people what's possible, no matter what stage you're in and what type of different ability that you have, that anything is possible.
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So I think that's what motivated me.
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I knew that I was the role that I held and I understood my purpose, that I was on assignment.
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So I just sucked it up, became resilient and just became brave enough to take one step at a time.
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You know that's really powerful, and so many times women are asked this question, especially successful women.
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You know what is it about you that you think is special, what sets you apart or what is your superpower, what's your superpower and what's your definition of a superpower?
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Sure, the definition of a superpower is that innate ability for me to show up in all my wares and all my brilliance, and I think my superpower is no.
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I believe this is what it is.
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It's I'm able to connect with people and I show up with a smile.
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I'm able to help people feel warm and inviting in a space, and I think that's why I was really good at what I did as a trainer and as well as a coach.
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You know I showed up in my brilliance.
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And because you did this yourself and you work with women.
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How do you help women figure out what their superpower is if they're not quite sure what it is?
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That's a very good question.
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For me, it's about what made me light up on the inside, and so that's something that I would ask you know, my clients, what makes you light up?
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You know what makes you smile and what gives you passion.
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That's something that you really want to do, or something you that you really want to do, or something that you really want to call into the world, or something that you want to change and what makes you good at bringing that change forth.
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Now it's interesting because you've mentioned what makes you good, and I find, with working with women over these last 17 years, that sometimes it's very difficult for us to identify or speak about those things that we're proud of, those things that we know are good for ourselves.
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We have to focus.
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There are tendencies to focus on what's not working or focus on what's not right with us.
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Why would you say that that might be counterproductive in terms of really being able to succeed and move into your power.
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Well, you know, it goes back and back to the question that you asked me.
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What I did was sometimes and this is what I would encourage other women to do that I work with I would ask people, I would do a survey, let's say I would do a survey or clients that I work with, people that were in my training class, even my leaders.
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I would send out maybe like a five questionnaire and asking them specific questions about me.
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You know, what, do you see, my strengths are, you know things of that nature where it would give me some indication, like I felt, like I knew what my power was and what I was good at.
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But when you see other people, when other people experience you and in your space, it's like wow, and so it's confirmation.
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And I think that's another way that where you can get information.
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How do people, how do you make people feel when they're in your presence?
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Yeah, those are all great questions and I can see some women getting the gumption to ask those questions.
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But I'll take it even a step further than that quest of perfection that we say we're not in quest of, but deep down inside there's something subconsciously that keeps us glued to the idea of being perfect.
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How do you help women push past that ideal of being perfect and help them kind of have more of a realistic view of who they are or who they want to be?
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Yeah, that's something that I struggled with and I really believe that sometimes that comes.
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That stems from childhood, how you were raised, because I was raised in a household where everything seemed like it had to be perfect and felt like it wasn't good enough, and so I think that, right, there is where the culprit is.
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You know how we were raised and so the way I had to overcome that was just really trusting in myself and seeing the beauty parts of me, the things that I really liked about me, and then also, you know, going back to things that people have said to me that were really, you know, a confirmation whether it was, you know, my leaders or my friends or peers that I work with, If you really listen closely, people have kind things to say about you.
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I think what it is.
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Sometimes, Denise, we have a hard time accepting those kind things.
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That's true because we're looking through that filter of what didn't go right.
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But why do you think it's important?
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Why do you think the work that you do is so important when it comes to helping women?
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I think the thing that's really important for me and what I do is I work with high achieving women leaders, helping them create work-life harmony.
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And I say work-life harmony, not balance, because balance is really that's rigid, and I really think that when people think of balance, it's like you have to hold all these balls in the air.
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So for me, it's really about looking at yourself and blending that with you're, looking at success and blending that with well-being.
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So, really, how are we taking care of ourselves?
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That's a holistic approach and that's something that I really really believe in is work life integration and it goes back to vision.
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What really what truly matters to you and sometimes we get we get so busy, so to speak is that we're doing all these different things, and what I find out is something that I really work with my clients is boundaries, saying yes to the right things that matter they're in alignment again, going back to the vision and who you are and who you desire to be, and learning how to say no gracefully, so that you can have the time and the energy to pursue the things that really matter.
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That will get you to the goal.
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Are you, when you say, setting boundaries, are you basically coaching women to, you know, kind of like, draw the line in the sand in terms of how much they're willing to extend of themselves, or is it more about drawing the line in the sand in terms of how much they're willing to do, or is it a balance of that?
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It is a balance of that, because all that is key and to that, so that you're not you are taking care of yourself, you're able to take care of yourself, you're able to do the things that truly matter to you, whether that's spending more time with your family or more hobbies, or maybe you have a business that you want to pursue on the side.
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It's not that you can have it all.
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You have to make choices of what you can have at this particular time so that you can take care of yourself.
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And that's something that I had to learn how to do because, being a high achieving woman, I was always reaching for the shiny object oh, I need to do that.
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That looks good over here.
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And so what happens?
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When I find out that I'm, when I do all those things and saying, yes, the things that sound good, maybe they are good, but they aren't good for this time and season, I found myself so confused and so far away from the vision.
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So that's when I realized you have to let something go.
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You have to do what truly matters, and that's where integrating work life.
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Because I like to play golf, I need time to do the things that I love, I like to have spend time with my fiance.
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I like to have time with my friends, and so I have to choose to take care of myself and I work out, I meditate.
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All those things really matter and they're important to me and they're important to every woman's well-being to find those things and to have a really good blend.
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I agree with you.
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You know.
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It's interesting because the whole work-life balance was something that came up a lot when Michelle Obama was in office and one of the things that she said when her husband was in office and one of the things that she said when her husband was in office, and one of the things that she said was that women can have it all but not all at the same time, and that is very true.
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I have had an opportunity myself to work in corporate America.
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I raised a large family of four girls who are now all in their 30s and doing well.
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I have six grandchildren.
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I'm 22 years in my second marriage.
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I have my own business.
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I still dance, you know, for my church.
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I'm 22 years in my second marriage.
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I have my own business.
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I still dance, you know, for my church.
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I'm active in my community.
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I have a large group of friends that I like to hang out with.
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I love to travel.
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All these things right, but I do not do all of them all at one time, although it has felt like the last few weeks they're doing all the one time, but normally I do not, because what happens is then the zest within which you do things begins to change.
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And I think sometimes what happens is that we see all these bright, shiny objects and say, okay, it's only two or three, I can do that, and then somewhere in there we get kind of burned out and it's because we're trying to do too much.
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There was someone who spoke into my life this morning.
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That was very interesting and he was saying you're at a stage in your life where consistency is key, consistently doing the things that are necessary to accomplish your goals, even if it's in small increments, and also taking a look at the time within which you spend a lot of time doing things.
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I learned last year, for instance.
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I worked less, but I had the most successful year ever monetarily in my business, but I worked less.
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So I learned something from that.
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So I don't work eight hour days any longer and the 16 hour days that I first did the first five years when I started my company those are long gone.
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You know, I might start my day at four or three in the morning and end my day at one o'clock in the afternoon, because that's eight hours, even though everybody else is working till five or six o'clock, you know.
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So I use consistency but also use common sense in terms of what's real and what makes sense.
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When you're talking and working with women in terms of the things that they want to achieve, what are some of the advice you give them in terms of how to go about achieving them?
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Well, and I'll keep going back to the vision what is it that you want?
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Because a lot of times, sometimes, women don't know what we want.
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When you don't know what you want, you'll find yourself all over the place.
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So we begin by you know what do you want and what truly matters to you, and is this something that you're willing to put the time and the energy into, as well as what are some of the things that might get in your way to achieving this vision, of these goals?
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And I think that's the key to what gets in the way.
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And so that's where we want to look at how do we eliminate or minimize those things that might sabotage you from achieving your goals you know you mentioned something about being visually impaired and, of course, as we get older, things start happening to our health, and that's where I come in, so to speak.
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But you know, things begin to happen and what I really want to try to help women to understand is that, even though those things can happen, it doesn't mean that you have to stop pursuing those things that are important to you or pursuing those things that you're passionate about.
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What about you?
00:18:26.219 --> 00:18:31.821
How have you kept yourself motivated, even though you have a challenge in terms of your visual impairment?
00:18:32.851 --> 00:18:39.951
I was so doggone, stubborn Denise I was just, I just said this is not going to take me out Now.
00:18:39.951 --> 00:18:53.188
Initially, when I found out I had this issue and is from an autoimmune condition with the retina, and I admit I was troubled and I questioned am I going to really be able to pursue things?
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You know, go back to school, get my, my degrees?
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You know, buy a home, get married, all these things I had in question.
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But then when I began to really pray about it and I didn't look at this situation as Whoa it's me, I looked at it as a gift, because that gift showed me the gift that I could give to others how to overcome your obstacles and how to adapt and be flexible.
00:19:28.446 --> 00:19:34.075
Now that's what I had to learn how to do in my life.
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How do I be adaptable and flexible to the things that I can do?
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And I would have to make adjustments.
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It doesn't mean that I can't do it.
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I might have to do it in a different way.
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And so I showed up in corporate America, even with this issue, and nobody knew it, but I learned how to navigate.
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When I had to give presentations or do training.
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If I was having a bad day, I was like, oh my God, am I going to be able to see the blah, blah, blah?
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I learned how to position myself, just making adjustments.
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I didn't make excuses, I made adjustments and that's the key and that's what motivated me, because I knew that I was called to do it and I was called to have impact.
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And what better a way of a person, someone who's advocating for vision, having a vision for your life?
00:20:25.409 --> 00:20:28.723
As someone who's visually impaired, Isn't that ironic.
00:20:28.743 --> 00:20:31.772
It kind of goes hand in glove, doesn't it?
00:20:31.772 --> 00:20:47.074
Yeah, and I was looking at your site the other day and one of the things that you have there is a guide towards saying no, and I think sometimes part of our vision has to incorporate when is it that I'm going to say no?
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Because that should definitely be on your agenda somewhere.
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Because you're going to, at some point, have to make some decisions on what you can and cannot do, and saying no has always been a challenge, especially for women.
00:20:58.869 --> 00:21:05.173
Why do you think that is, and what are some of the things that you talk about in the guide to help women to say no?
00:21:06.961 --> 00:21:10.929
A lot of it, I believe, comes from societal expectations.
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Women, we are expected to show up and do things with a smile and be gracious about it.
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Be accommodating, because we do.
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I think that probably is our Achilles heel.
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Sometimes we are too accommodating or we're afraid to hurt people's feelings.
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We hate to say no.
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We want to be accepted, we don't want to lose anybody.
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All those things play a role in that.
00:21:39.229 --> 00:21:45.368
And so in the guide it talks about how to gracefully say no politely.
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I've had to do that lots of times.
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You know people ask me can you show up and do this and that?
00:21:51.548 --> 00:22:13.240
And sometimes I would, and then, when I realized I was overwhelmed and facing anxiety attacks, I learned how to say sometimes I would say let me think about it and get back to you, and sometimes I would say you know what that sounds like a really great opportunity, but it really isn't in alignment with what I'm doing right now.
00:22:13.240 --> 00:22:16.906
So I'm going to have to decline, but thank you so much for asking.
00:22:16.906 --> 00:22:22.275
So it's really I'm going to have to decline, but thank you so much for asking.
00:22:22.275 --> 00:22:25.700
So it's really about in the guide of how to gracefully say no.
00:22:25.700 --> 00:22:40.830
And then it talks about how to even overcome that guilt, because I think that's the big thing, is guilt, and that goes back to setting boundaries, because I used to feel guilty about setting boundaries with my mom and sometimes we have to start with our family.
00:22:41.462 --> 00:22:47.211
Yeah, yeah, yeah and so that we can do that even in our business, in our work life as well.
00:22:47.721 --> 00:22:50.507
I definitely understand that I have to have that experience with my daughters.
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I mean, there's four of them, and then two of them have three kids each, and now, as of tomorrow, three of my daughters will live in three different states.
00:23:00.632 --> 00:23:00.853
Wow.
00:23:01.281 --> 00:23:07.031
One here with me, but there's going to be more of the no thing because it's just too much.
00:23:07.031 --> 00:23:23.736
But you know, I do believe also that many times when you get in a situation where you know you're going to have to start saying no, if you look on the other side of what's going on, in terms of the person that is requesting it, you know they haven't been prepared for such a time as this and your no is part of their development.
00:23:23.736 --> 00:23:30.923
Seriously, and I always tell my daughters all the time this is nothing new, but if God brings you to it, he will bring you through it.
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And it does not necessarily mean that I'm the one that does it.
00:23:34.952 --> 00:23:42.967
I'll be your cheerleader, I'll be your coach, your friend, but maybe it's something else that either someone else helps you do or you do it yourself.
00:23:42.967 --> 00:23:52.516
You know, I think many times on the other side of no to the person that you're saying no to is part of their development, part of what they need to learn how to do.
00:23:53.518 --> 00:23:59.391
Exactly Because sometimes what happens is we take on other people's responsibilities that really aren't ours.
00:23:59.391 --> 00:24:02.843
That's right.
00:24:02.843 --> 00:24:04.926
Sometimes, no is a teachable moment.
00:24:05.248 --> 00:24:08.213
Yeah, it really is, I still struggle with feeling guilty.
00:24:08.213 --> 00:24:16.163
I still feel like I need to chop myself up in four different pieces, like I have for 40 years, and be here and there.
00:24:16.163 --> 00:24:28.211
But actually a couple of years ago I made a decision when my daughter when she was eight, I think she was about eight months pregnant decided she was going to relocate to join her husband in the middle of a pandemic to Texas and I thought that she should stay here and wait, have the baby, then go.
00:24:28.211 --> 00:24:34.224
But she was adamant about it and I was so upset about that and I tried the best to support her, but it really breached my spirit.
00:24:34.224 --> 00:24:43.730
But I realized now, almost three years later, even though it was crazy, that was ultimately the right decision for her because she grew so much as a result of that.
00:24:43.730 --> 00:24:47.505
Everything that I thought would happen absolutely did.
00:24:47.505 --> 00:25:11.020
It absolutely did, I was right, but she was able to handle it and it made her a stronger and better person, so that now it's not a big deal and it prepared me for this other daughter saying I'm moving and she's got now a six month old and a little girl and her son just graduated from high school and all these things are going on and I thought to myself well, it's your life, your journey.
00:25:11.020 --> 00:25:14.607
And it's so funny because, as I'm thinking about them, you know what?
00:25:15.549 --> 00:25:21.361
40 years ago, when my daughter was three months old, I was doing the exact same thing.
00:25:21.361 --> 00:25:24.087
I was telling my mom and dad I'm moving back to Atlanta.
00:25:24.087 --> 00:25:25.751
He said, baby's, only three months.
00:25:25.751 --> 00:25:27.384
That's okay, I'll get a job.
00:25:27.384 --> 00:25:30.211
And then my mom and dad were worried about but you know what I did?
00:25:30.211 --> 00:25:36.719
It Isn't it funny how we worry about things that actually we've already done ourselves.
00:25:36.778 --> 00:25:38.123
I don't know where that comes from.
00:25:38.123 --> 00:25:43.730
Sometimes all's all the things that we've done and all the things that we have accomplished.
00:25:43.730 --> 00:25:45.839
And I really do feel for midlife women.
00:25:45.839 --> 00:25:58.882
That's something we need to reflect on, because many of the answers to the questions that we have we already have within us, because they've become a question or an issue, because somewhere along the line you've been exposed to it.
00:25:58.902 --> 00:26:04.782
And somewhere along the line you've been exposed to it, and somewhere along the line, if you really think about it, the answer is there, but we forget.
00:26:04.782 --> 00:26:06.227
I know I forgot all about it.
00:26:06.227 --> 00:26:09.844
And it's so funny because I still waiting for one of them to say well, mom, you relocate.
00:26:09.844 --> 00:26:25.287
Yeah, they don't remember and I'm not reminding them unless yeah, it's true I was so about how this was not a good time and everything else, and I had done the exact same thing myself.
00:26:25.287 --> 00:26:35.324
So sometimes we need to kind of take a good look at ourselves and turn, you know situations around and take a look at ourselves and think, okay, how closely aligned is.
00:26:35.324 --> 00:26:45.968
This is something that I've actually done before, and what is it that I've learned in the past that I can bring to this current situation, so I won't be, quite frankly, so stressed out.
00:26:46.911 --> 00:26:54.710
Exactly, and you said, the key word is reflection, and that's something that has been a part of my life and my journey.
00:26:54.710 --> 00:27:06.094
Reflection, I think that's where I learned a lot about myself, that's where I get my wisdom from, that's where I get ideas from and have aha moments.
00:27:06.094 --> 00:27:17.705
So reflection is really a gift and I think sometimes we, as women, we get too busy to sit down and get still and reflect and journal about what it is.
00:27:17.705 --> 00:27:20.661
What is it that we're learning about ourselves?
00:27:21.542 --> 00:27:24.328
You know, I have this exercise that I like to do.
00:27:24.328 --> 00:27:26.012
It's not my original.
00:27:26.012 --> 00:27:28.806
I learned it from one of the many workshops, classes or whatever.
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After my prayer time I have this start your day in a positive way.
00:27:32.644 --> 00:27:54.284
It's a process that I go through and one of the things that I do is I write this kind of like a letter and I'm writing not necessarily I'm I'm writing in the first person or the second person, I don't know which one it is I'm writing in a person and I'm saying Lord, lord, what is it that you want me to do today?
00:27:54.284 --> 00:27:56.067
Or what is it that you want me to know?
00:27:56.067 --> 00:28:05.651
Yes, and then I just wait, I write the question in one color and then I write the answer in another color.
00:28:05.651 --> 00:28:06.653
Oh, I love that.
00:28:06.673 --> 00:28:14.442
The whole idea is the idea that this isn't just you, this is something else that's coming through you, and it's amazing what comes out of that.
00:28:14.442 --> 00:28:19.429
And sometimes and the first time I did that I was like okay, is this real right?
00:28:19.429 --> 00:28:22.271
I mean because like right, how could this, you know?
00:28:22.271 --> 00:28:31.333
But what came out of it were things that I already knew, but I hadn't put it down on paper and I hadn't put things together like that.
00:28:31.333 --> 00:28:33.483
But there were also some aha moments.
00:28:33.483 --> 00:28:42.112
Things that I had forgotten about or things that I hadn't given much credibility to or much credence to, all of a sudden came to the forefront.
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This is what you need to be doing or this is the way.
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Walk in that way.
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You know that kind of thing.
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Sometimes we need to take the time to ask our higher power.
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You know your pet rock, whatever you want to call it.
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