Empowering Women Over 40: Cultivating Self-Worth, Practical Skills, and Meaningful Connections

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What is it that you do to help women get to that place of understanding that the true validation lies within?

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The first thing that we need to do is give ourselves evidence that we are valuable.

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The fact that we have an irreplaceable DNA, the probability and the combination of our time of history we're born, the experiences, our aptitude, our personalities, all that combined allows us to be so unique and rare that nobody will ever be us and nobody was ever us.

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So that in itself, that probability makes us an irreplaceable woman in history period, which means that we are valuable simply because nobody will ever be us.

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Hi, I'm Linus Woods Mullins and I love to help women to vibe, to be more vibrant, intuitive, beautiful and empowered in their life.

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So come on, there's so much going on with women these days when it comes to being able to move forward and then, at the same time, juggle all the things that they have going on in their lives.

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And I have with me today someone who is a two times number one bestselling author and entrepreneur and a mother of eight children talking about juggling.

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She has over 20 years experience training women and was featured in Forbes in their top self-worth coaching programs.

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January's bold dream is to build a school that was designed to train women with practical skills to manage their lives, and she's done this for the last 15 years training women for free, before realizing that, in order to reach millions, she had to learn to build a business and to do so while prioritizing her family.

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So today we're going to be talking just about that how are you able to get all of those things done and, at the same time, pursue your life's dreams and, in this case, probably your life's purpose?

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I want to welcome January Donovan.

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January, so wonderful to have you on the Vibe Living Podcast.

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Thank you so much for having me and for the opportunity to be able to just get real and raw and share Absolutely.

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People in general are overwhelmed, but I think that women in particular have been overwhelmed for a long time, and since we have so-called broken part of the glass ceiling in terms of just being able to go to work and maybe grow within our careers, the pressures have even been greater.

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And I'm just wondering what are some of the things you talk to women about?

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Juggling that and handling it in such a way that they are also honoring themselves while taking care of everyone else?

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Sure Great question.

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So just to take a step back, I think we have to kind of see the state of our culture.

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In the last 100, 150 years we've had the privilege to be able to actually have our voices of contribution in society.

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Now we can work outside our home, we can be both a mother, and so that transition obviously has provided us the opportunity for you and I to be here.

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So, in context of the world changing, the infrastructure of our family life is changing.

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Our grandmothers are not there to give us advice, our aunts, our uncles, the family infrastructure, but also the internet, has changed the way we communicated.

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So there's really a massive, radical shift in the state of our culture communicated.

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So there's really a massive, radical shift in the state of our culture.

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Secondly, most women today are underskilled due to the shift, because they, I'm sorry, overwhelmed, because they are underskilled.

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In that time of transition we needed to also learn new skills on how to manage our mind in a world of internet, how to manage our boundaries, how to discover our value in a culture that tells us our values based on our performance, our production.

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And so most women today are simply underskilled.

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There's no training in how to be a woman, how to be a wife, how to be a mother, how to have a career while also having a mother.

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You have to go outside the infrastructure of our school system to even learn decision-making skills.

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We make 35,000 decisions a day.

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Our life right now is a combination of all those decisions made minute by minute, day by day, year by year.

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And if we lack that one skill alone, decision-making skill, that could be essentially our own demise.

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But to think about it, where do you go to learn how to honor your value, how to pivot, how to manage your mind, how to build a routine, how to communicate yourself effectively?

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We go into marriage without even knowing the skill of effective communication, which is 7% words, 38 percent tonality, 55 body language, all of this blindness.

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We're not born knowing how to be a woman just because we are one.

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So the change of infrastructure, the lack of training and then, thirdly, I think we have arrived in our culture of sort of this confusion where we were trying to find our place in history, and women today are valued based on external results.

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We call it the poisonous pea in the woman's school.

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How perfect are you?

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That's what we revere women that are perfect.

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How powerful are you?

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Oh, what position do you hold?

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What are your possessions?

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That's why we buy name brand clothes.

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That's why we buy the nice car right?

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Not essentially because we value it, but because it makes us feel more valuable.

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And so women are suffering, proving pleasing and not knowing their rightful place to honor their value.

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Value because for decades, literally, our brains are conditioned to fight.

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To be valuable, to be seen, we have an innate need to want to feel validated, to feel important, and so we have got to address these three radical issues that I believe are the root cause of why women today are overwhelmed.

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You know, you said something that was very key, and that was the whole idea of value.

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Women want to know that they are valuable, but the interesting thing is that the true validation doesn't really come from outside.

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It comes from within.

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So what is it that you do to help women get to that place of understanding that the true validation lies within?

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What steps do you take to begin to kind of rein them in in terms of looking outward and instead look inward?

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I think we've had great evidence of how our brains work, which is a fascinating gift that I think we have in the last, especially 35 years, and because women today are conditioned to believe that they're only valuable if and when, and so the first thing that we need to do is give ourselves evidence that we are valuable.

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The fact that we have an irreplaceable DNA, the probability and the combination of our time of history we're born, the experiences, our aptitude, our personalities, all that combined allows us to be so unique and rare that nobody will ever be us and nobody was ever us, so that in itself, that probability makes us an irreplaceable woman in history period, which means that we are valuable simply because nobody will ever be us.

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The rarity of our existence.

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But see, I can tell you you're valuable, but you won't believe it because for decades you were told what makes you valuable is your grade.

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You won't believe it because for decades you were told what makes you valuable is your grade, what you look like, how popular you are, and so that literally, the you know, understanding the science of our brain has been now conditioned in our 95 percent of our brain, our subconscious conditioning.

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It's like a language linus, like what you know.

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You know when you're a child that this is a pen, because through the process of repetition you were told that this is a pen, right, and so that becomes a language.

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Now, if I was told at a young age that what makes someone beautiful is what she looks like, because I pass by the grocery store and there's this magazine, it says beautiful, and I don't even have the awareness to a distinction of what a good performance is.

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It's just literally the process of repetition.

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It becomes the language of my conditioning, our 95% of our brain, the subconscious conditioning.

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We need to be aware of this subtle conditioning.

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That has happened not because our mothers didn't know to tell us that our value was not contingent on the external, and rewire that.

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So, it's a translation replace the language that women have and rewire their brain.

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It's interesting because, while it's invaluable for us to learn how to find our validation from within and stop looking from other people, there's also a double whammy in terms of why we want to do that Because looking for our value outside of ourself is self-limiting, but also that self-limitation can affect the people around us.

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How does that work?

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Well, I think that you can't tell your child you're valuable unless you understand your own value.

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You can't preserve your value and honor and command respect from your spouse, from the men around you, if you don't hold it for yourself.

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We just can't give what we don't have.

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So it's limiting, in a sense, that we are unaware that we're devaluing ourselves and we literally lack the skill.

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Because here's the challenging part.

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Let's just say we rewire a woman's brain and say my worth is unconditional, I am an irreplaceable.

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15 days wiring, 60 days rewiring right, you literally impress it like somebody who's learning English, speaking French every day.

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It's literally a physical wiring in our brain.

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That's happening.

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Let's just say we do that.

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But the problem, linus, is that if I lack skill to communicate my boundaries, to build a rhythm of life that honors my value, if I don't know how to present my highest and best self all of which are skills if I don't know how to make a decision, if I don't know what I want and don't want to honor my value, I can wire that all day.

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It's like affirmation without skill set.

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It doesn't work, because I can tell myself a story I'm valuable, I'm valuable, but I have no skill to actually defend my value.

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So that's why in the women's school we talk about rewiring our mindset, but building the right skill set to hold, uphold our value, so that we're not susceptible to external manipulation of saying you're valuable and if one, go get your, your PhD, go borrow $100,000 because that will make you feel more important.

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Now, if that's what you're calling is, go for it, but the motive matters.

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If the motive is so that I can prove myself to the world or revenge all of us, then we realize why we're unfulfilled.

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It matters.

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But if I'm doing it because I know that this is what I was created for, that I'm created to build a business while being a mom of eight, pursue a life of excellence and greatness, make no excuses for myself, not because I want to show off to the world, but because this is what I'm created to be, that's a different narrative.

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That's a different narrative.

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Now tell us a little bit about the school that you founded, and how does this school?

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It is called the woman's school.

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How does that support the principles that we just got through talking about?

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What kinds?

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of things Honestly.

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I was the reason why the school started because nobody ever showed me how and I suffered for it.

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I was a good woman.

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Nobody showed how to make choices, nobody told me how to say.

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I got into myself in a position where I didn't like who I was.

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I was making choices that exacerbated my stress, my anxiety, to a point where I just did not like who I was.

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I was making choices that exacerbated my stress, my anxiety, to a point where I just did not like who I was.

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And so I had a mentor in college who I met my freshman year in college and said January, what kind of a woman do you want to be?

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And I thought you don't have a choice, elena.

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And she said, yes, you do.

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For three and a half years I met with her every single month and and she gave me homework.

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My first homework was to get rid of comparison competition.

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Make my bed.

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Make my bed so that I could feel accomplished and build a routine that woke up in the morning so I could pray, plan and prepare myself for the morning.

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It changed my life, and so she taught me skills after skills.

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So the school was born out of my own wound, and also the privilege and the gift that the woman gave me, because I realized I wasn't alone in my suffering.

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Good women suffer unnecessarily unfulfilling lives of regret where they don't like who they are simply because nobody showed them how.

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And so the woman's school is really a how-to school and say listen, where do you go to learn how to be a woman when your grandmother, your mother, is no longer next to you?

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But, more importantly, we are so distracted you know that even though your grandmothers are making a great meal, maybe having graceful conversation, you're not actually receiving it because you're just on your phone, we're, we don't have the infrastructure anymore.

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So the woman school is a training school.

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We go deep into women's self-worth.

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We give you hundreds of skill set.

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We teach you to design every arena of your life, the woman you want to become, your self-image, your mental, emotional, physical and spiritual health, your friendship, because we don't even know how to be a friend.

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Loneliness is an international epidemic in an internet world what have we been the cause is?

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What do you think the cause is for women in particular, who are feeling lonely, especially when they have families and friends, and still feeling lonely in a room full of people?

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I think it's a lack of communication and lack of depth.

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So I could be with somebody for three hours in a party and never have meaningful conversation because I lack the skill of actually going deep.

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Secondly, we are so wounded we haven't processed our wounds that I cannot receive.

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I could be with you and there's a wall of vulnerability.

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I can't say how are you?

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There's a lot of sincerity and genuineness to receive and to give, because we're so afraid to be vulnerable, because of being hurt.

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So it's a lack of communication skill and it's a lack actually, it's fear of not knowing our value and, I think, more importantly, because we are entertained constantly.

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Those are three of the reasons.

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We then mask our loneliness and lack of depth through entertainment.

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We can scroll through social media, we can binge watch movies and never get to a point of asking what does my heart need?

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Who am I?

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Who do I need to become?

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What conversation, what kind of friend do I want?

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There's no more standard and last, there's no life by design, which is what we teach For you to say these are the kind of friends I need in this particular season of my life, these are the standards.

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This is why I'm not going to also settle for.

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This is the kind of friend that I am.

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We can design ourself through neuroplasticity.

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So that's really what a school does is you know?

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It's deep work.

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Anybody that's gone through our signature course.

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It is a six month journey of interior work and I think because life is busy, linus we just go a little podcast here, a little read here and a little insight there, and what we do is that we I would say we do a cafeteria style for our need for training.

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Olympians train daily in the quiet so that they can become the world's great.

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This is the Olympics in our lifetime, the very woman that we ought to become, and yet we settle for a little bit of this and a little bit of that and expect greatness no-transcript, because you have to live with yourself and who you're not and who you were created to be.

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This is why training is really the antidote to your desires, and one of the reasons why I wanted you to come on this podcast is that I want to send a message to women 40 and over that it's never too late.

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My class is between the ages of 45 and 55.

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I'm 67.

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Yet, and still, every day, I'm still working on myself in terms of things that I want to do, where I want to grow.

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It's an ongoing quest and I really want to know what kind of words you would have for those women who think maybe it's too late for me.

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Do you feel?

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Is it really ever too late to be able to learn and to make changes that are going to ultimately benefit you and your quest?

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Well, I guess you have to make a choice.

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You just say, well, I'll risk the next 10 years, 20 years of my life and live a life of quiet, desperation, life, thorough.

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Or I'll say, today, I have a choice, today, one step forward towards living the life that I want, so that I have a shot of fulfillment.

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It's a choice.

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And I think that if you're sitting in here like January, it's too late.

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Study women that are designing your life.

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Chances are you're saying it's too late because we're the average of the five people we surround ourselves with.

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Chances are the women around you are convincing you it's too late?

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Or maybe they're far too distracted.

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They're just doing a lot of minimal things that are distracting them to pursue the things that they are deeply created for.

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So I would check the kind of friends that I'm surrounding my mindset with, because that matters and, more importantly, I'm asking you for the women here that are, you know, 45, because a lot, we have thousands of students across 40 plus countries and a lot of them are actually between 40 and 60.

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I just had this one woman I was doing a training and she's sitting there.

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I'm teaching her how to dream, because dreaming is a compounding skill set Women.

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You're always told to dream, but never how to dream.

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And you know you need to learn to manage your imagination, manage your mind to dream.

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Anyway, I'm teaching her dream training, and she's 70 and it's her birthday and she's in this training and she's like I'm trying to discover the dream of this season.

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And she's sitting there and I just thought I said Paula, before you even continue, and she's around hundreds and hundreds of women.

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I said I just want to pause and I hope that one day I am you, that I have enough humility to know that I've never arrived, that I've evolved every single day of my life to die to my old self, to give rise to my new self.

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And so to all of you listeners, I'm asking you our world, if you look outside, has gone mad.

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We don't know what a woman is.

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We've convoluted the definition of the relationship of both men and women.

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We've lost the reverence of what it means to be a woman.

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We need your voice.

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We need your wound to give us wisdom.

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We can't have you just sit there and do nothing when the next generation are confused, are overwhelmed because they're underskilled.

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We need your voices of contribution so that we don't just let go of the next generation and not fight for ourselves and our children.

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We need each other.

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This is so true.

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And you know, I really do believe that we mentioned something about surrounding yourself with friends.

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I believe that, you know, god puts people in our life for a reason, for a season, and many times those seasons pass and we need to be able to grow with those seasons instead of insisting well, no, no, we've been friends for years.

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Well, you know, nothing lasts forever when you really think about it.

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So the idea of being prepared to make that choice, to make a change, is one of the first steps, I think, in anything, and sometimes you have to do things incrementally, but just as long as you're moving forward and making the change and you know, I've had friends in my life for 60 years I'm very blessed.

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They've been our friends for 60 years, but there were times along that way when we weren't in contact and there was a time back in our 50s when we decided to reconnect because we were losing so many friends and family.

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You know, we're at that stage of life now where you begin to lose people and connecting yourself with your past means, you know, or staying connected means you know, reuniting with people maybe that you've met before.

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So even though people may be in your life for a reason, for a season, that doesn't mean that they're necessarily gone forever.

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It just means that you're moving to something else and to find out, to rediscover or discover new things about your life with the help of this new input and I want to also send a message to women who are listening to such a wonderful wisdom is that much of these things you inherently know within, but you've covered it up with so much dogma and so much brainwashing and what you see on social media.

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That's somewhere along the line you lose yourself.

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But I do believe that within all of us we have that inner voice, that intuition, holy spirit, whatever you want to call it.

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The truth, and what I hear January saying also is that she helps you get in touch with that Now.

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For those of you who want to find out more about January Donovan and listen to her wonderful wisdom, all of her links are there in the show page.

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This is a woman who has definitely spoken into so many women's lives, and she can make a difference in your life as well.

00:20:33.949 --> 00:20:37.546
There was one thing I was going to ask you You've had eight children.

00:20:37.546 --> 00:20:38.548
What are their ages?

00:20:38.548 --> 00:20:40.132
January, oh, thank you.

00:20:40.700 --> 00:20:45.529
Three, four, seven, eight, 12, 13, 14, 16.

00:20:45.529 --> 00:20:48.721
I can't believe I did that fast, and usually I want to do that fast.

00:20:48.721 --> 00:20:54.134
So I had four under four and I thought you're wild and crazy, that's it.

00:20:54.134 --> 00:20:56.259
I had four under four and I thought you're wild and crazy, that's it.

00:20:56.259 --> 00:21:01.271
And we did it again, four under five, and so I feel extremely blessed and grateful.

00:21:01.271 --> 00:21:20.144
I think there's a redemption of the way we need to view motherhood, because the way we think of motherhood is the death of dreams that the children are sort of a nuisance in our life, and I just believe so much in the beauty and the radiance that comes from motherhood, which is why I teach skills.

00:21:20.586 --> 00:21:23.166
Yes, I mean interesting, If you're talking about outer validation.

00:21:23.166 --> 00:21:31.067
Every time I look at my children, I realize, wow, I have four daughters, they're all in their thirties, they're all successful.

00:21:31.067 --> 00:21:45.008
And I just think to myself wow, what a blessing to be able to look at small portions of myself and aspire to continue to grow and to learn and contribute, not just for them, but for myself as well.

00:21:45.008 --> 00:21:48.000
You know, to continue to pour into you and January.

00:21:48.000 --> 00:21:53.423
Thank you so much for sharing your wisdom and your philosophy here on the Vibe Living Podcast.

00:21:53.423 --> 00:21:58.528
It's been wonderful having you here today, thank you, and thank you to all of you who are listening.

00:21:58.528 --> 00:22:10.830
I know there's literally probably 50 million podcasts out there you could be listening to, so taking the time to listen to us, I really do appreciate it, and thank you for making us the top 10% of Apple Podcasts.

00:22:11.181 --> 00:22:14.839
Now I want you to do me a favor, please.

00:22:14.839 --> 00:22:16.984
I want to hear your opinion about this podcast and the other ones that are here.

00:22:16.984 --> 00:22:22.786
Just all you have to do is like, share, comment and subscribe to this podcast.

00:22:22.786 --> 00:22:31.111
It's been wonderful having you, and I hope that you are really working on being more vibrant, intuitive, beautiful and empowered in midlife.

00:22:31.111 --> 00:22:35.969
In other words, I hope that you are having a fantastic and vibe day.

00:22:35.969 --> 00:22:36.569
Everybody.

00:22:36.569 --> 00:22:37.853
See you later.

00:22:37.853 --> 00:22:58.192
Thanks for listening to the Vibe Living Podcast and don't forget to subscribe, like and comment and share this podcast.

00:22:58.192 --> 00:23:01.246
Have a fantastic day and don't forget the vibe.

00:23:01.246 --> 00:23:02.188
Bye-bye everybody.