March 15, 2025
Embracing Life Through Death: Finding Comfort, Closure & Joy with Death Doula Helen Gretchen Jones
What if the end of life wasn’t something to fear, but an opportunity for deep healing and connection? In this powerful episode, death doula Gretchen Jones shares how spiritual experiences around death can bring comfort to families and help us embrace life more fully. From seeing deceased loved ones before passing to the importance of closure and forgiveness, Gretchen offers compassionate insights into navigating the end-of-life journey with peace and purpose.
💫 Key Topics Covered:
✔️ How working with the dying shifts our perspective on life and fear
✔️ Spiritual experiences and visitations that bring comfort in final moments
✔️ Why terminally ill individuals struggle to receive love—and how to support them
✔️ The power of forgiveness and meaningful conversations before transition
✔️ The role of hospice and death doulas in easing the end-of-life process
✔️ How children often perceive spiritual presences adults cannot see
✔️ Daily practices for embracing joy, passion, and presence in life
✔️ Insights from Gretchen’s book Healing Whispers from Spirit Guides
If you’ve ever wondered about the mysteries of life and death, or how to support loved ones in their final moments, this episode is a must-listen. Tune in for wisdom that will inspire you to live fully, love deeply, and let go with peace.
🎧 Listen now and discover how embracing death can help you live more vibrantly.
Bio
Helen Gretchen Jones is a death doula, intuitive, and channeler who writes about shared death experiences and the essence of spiritual consciousness. Her writing focuses on fostering loving connections with oneself and others, and her work emphasizes trusting personal experiences and the teachings she channels from her team in Spirit, known as the A-Team.
Helen holds a dual master's degree in art history and theology from St. Edward's University. She is also certified in sound bowl therapy, Reiki, hypnosis, and past life regressions. Beyond her role as a death doula, Helen serves as an intuitive guide, delivering messages from Spirit.
When she's not working with hospice patients, writing, or teaching, Helen can be found on the family ranch hanging out with her husband, Taylor, their children, Ty and Elle, and their menagerie of animals, including birds, cats, llamas, and goats.
Website
www.helengretchenjones.com
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00:00 - Introduction to Death and Spirituality
03:05 - Meeting Gretchen Jones: Death Doula Journey
06:01 - Intuitive Connections with Spirit
11:57 - Working with the Dying and Families
15:38 - Spiritual Visitations at End-of-Life
19:30 - Personal Encounters with Deceased Loved Ones
23:14 - Living Fully in the Face of Death
27:11 - Forgiveness and Receiving Love Before Death
29:45 - The Value of Hospice Care
WEBVTT
00:00:00.260 --> 00:00:09.035
So how have these kinds of encounters that you've had over the years shaped your understanding of spirituality and the overall nature of existence?
00:00:09.035 --> 00:00:11.608
I'm like I could die tomorrow.
00:00:12.939 --> 00:00:22.053
I'm always on the verge of am I living today exactly the way I want to live today, and I'm hopefully passing that on to my children and my husband.
00:00:22.053 --> 00:00:23.286
I can see it's rubbing off on him.
00:00:23.286 --> 00:00:26.402
You know, do what finds you joy every single day.
00:00:26.402 --> 00:00:29.672
A little bit of excitement, a little bit of passion, something.
00:00:40.600 --> 00:00:48.374
Hi, I'm Glennis Woods Mullins and I love to help women to vibe, to be more vibrant, intuitive, beautiful and empowered in their life.
00:00:48.374 --> 00:00:50.006
So come on, let's vibe.
00:00:50.006 --> 00:01:00.848
Listen, I have some news for you all.
00:01:00.848 --> 00:01:08.843
In case you were wondering, we're all going to end up the same way, in other words, at the end of this journey.
00:01:09.444 --> 00:01:26.754
As far as I know, this particular journey is going to be death, and I don't know why it is, but here in this country in particular, we have a real issue talking about death, and the reason why that's a concern is because it happens to us all the time.
00:01:26.754 --> 00:01:29.243
So why not talk about it?
00:01:29.243 --> 00:01:38.826
And as we are approaching our destination, we have friends and family who are already at that destination or approaching it as well.
00:01:38.826 --> 00:01:51.692
And given the fact that the majority of the people who listen to this podcast are midlife women, all the more reason for us to be talking about death and dying and what that whole journey is all about.
00:01:51.692 --> 00:01:56.992
So we have with us today my guest, gretchen Jones, who is a compassionate death doula.
00:01:56.992 --> 00:02:06.106
She's also an intuitive and a channeler who writes about shared death experiences and is the essential spiritual part of.
00:02:06.106 --> 00:02:09.950
She talks about how it is an essential part of spiritual consciousness.
00:02:09.950 --> 00:02:14.390
So, gretchen, thank you so much for being on the Bible Living Podcast today.
00:02:14.390 --> 00:02:15.682
It's great to have you here today.
00:02:15.682 --> 00:02:16.866
Thank you so much.
00:02:16.907 --> 00:02:17.729
I'm happy to be here.
00:02:18.251 --> 00:02:18.572
Thank you.
00:02:18.572 --> 00:02:21.729
This is an outside of the box kind of discussion for some people.
00:02:21.729 --> 00:02:25.210
Some people believe that at the end of that that's the end.
00:02:25.210 --> 00:02:31.021
Others believe that at the end of that you go to heaven or the other place, and others are just confused about it.
00:02:31.021 --> 00:02:54.209
And I believe it's really important, especially in midlife, that you do ask the questions and try to determine where you stand on issues like this, because it can make a huge difference in terms of your overall journey If you ask the questions and then decide after you ask the questions and get the information where you stand, instead of being even afraid to talk about it.
00:02:54.209 --> 00:02:55.512
So let's talk about it.
00:02:55.512 --> 00:03:01.171
I have to ask how did you get fascinated with the whole idea of death, or were you fascinated with death?
00:03:01.171 --> 00:03:02.222
How did your journey start?
00:03:02.222 --> 00:03:03.223
Who was Gretchen Jones?
00:03:05.165 --> 00:03:16.393
I don't think I ever had like a fascination with death in particular, but I've always had a strong spiritual side to me and I always felt a connection to something maybe greater than myself.
00:03:16.393 --> 00:03:24.342
And when my dad died in 2015, it was sort of the catalyst to helping me work with the dying community.
00:03:24.342 --> 00:03:42.913
When my dad died he was only in his 50s, so he was quite young and it was unexpected for many people in the family and it left especially one of my sisters and some other members of the family without closure and it made me want to help other people not experience that.
00:03:42.913 --> 00:03:58.862
I wanted to help people find closure and peace before transition, before death, and also help not just the patients but the families to be comforted in those final moments so that the grieving process could happen a little bit more with ease.
00:03:58.862 --> 00:04:07.288
You're still going to grieve, of course, the loss of your loved one, but maybe it doesn't have to be with so much regret over what you didn't say or could have said.
00:04:08.370 --> 00:04:12.622
And I want to put an exclamation point or a pinpoint on something.
00:04:13.183 --> 00:04:18.321
This is not necessarily driven by any particular religion, it's kind of beyond that.
00:04:18.321 --> 00:04:39.492
Okay, and depending on what religion you might be, the idea of getting some assistance on what religion you might be, the idea of getting some assistance, information, coaching, if you will, on how to deal with a family member who is in the process of transitioning, who has a terminal illness, or maybe they've already passed, I think is critical in terms of your emotional wellness.
00:04:39.492 --> 00:04:42.872
Because one thing I've always thought is that you know wherever our loved ones are after they transition.
00:04:42.872 --> 00:04:45.220
The bottom line is you know wherever our loved ones are after they transition.
00:04:45.220 --> 00:04:53.125
The bottom line is you know we're still here having to deal with the, you know the onset of our loss and everything else.
00:04:53.125 --> 00:05:02.536
And because we don't talk a lot about it, and especially Western culture, that really does leave us kind of unaware of how to deal or how to cope.
00:05:02.536 --> 00:05:11.053
And I guess maybe that's where you would come in in terms of helping families get ready for the transition or maybe preparing for them afterwards.
00:05:12.220 --> 00:05:13.562
Yes, both, actually.
00:05:13.562 --> 00:05:16.848
So death doula is a relatively new position.
00:05:16.848 --> 00:05:24.341
It was beforehand, before the big change in our healthcare system, which we're still working through and navigating as a country.
00:05:24.341 --> 00:05:33.348
Nurses would sit with their patients and they had more time to do that, but now it seems nurses have a lot more paperwork that they still that they have to go through.
00:05:33.348 --> 00:05:36.404
Their hands are tied when it comes to their time management.
00:05:36.404 --> 00:05:44.562
So often they have requirements that they have to meet and so they don't get to spend as much time sitting bedside with these patients.
00:05:45.163 --> 00:06:00.617
So now there's a need for someone to come in and sit with families and sit with patients and help them navigate, sometimes, the fear around death, talking about death, what it means to have a terminal illness, what emotions one's going to encounter going through that.
00:06:01.240 --> 00:06:02.163
A lot of people don't.
00:06:02.163 --> 00:06:22.800
They still have things they want to say and do and they feel a little bit angry that their life is being cut short, and also they have relationships that are usually a little bit hung in the balance that it helps to have someone come in and help them allow themselves to be vulnerable and know that it's okay to be that way and to find closure.
00:06:22.800 --> 00:06:25.208
So I'm doing it now, since nurses used to be able to do it, but it's okay to be that way and to find closure.
00:06:25.208 --> 00:06:28.603
So I'm doing it now, since nurses used to be able to do it, but it is.
00:06:28.603 --> 00:06:36.468
I think it is just wildly important for as many people as we can to get in there and start working and serving the dying community.
00:06:36.468 --> 00:06:38.367
Everyone wants to help out with babies.
00:06:38.367 --> 00:06:41.586
Nobody wants to help out with people on their way out.
00:06:41.586 --> 00:06:43.810
So it would show that's a good point.
00:06:43.930 --> 00:06:44.593
That's a good point.
00:06:44.593 --> 00:06:46.103
What is your process?
00:06:46.103 --> 00:06:50.593
What's the first thing you begin to do when you work with a family?
00:06:51.922 --> 00:07:03.290
I find out what their religious beliefs are, if any, because you definitely want to work within those structures if possible and you honor first the patient's belief systems and then the family's.
00:07:03.290 --> 00:07:16.980
That's typically what I do if they're different, and I have had several patients where their end-of-life experiences were being challenged by their beliefs.
00:07:16.980 --> 00:07:24.228
So, for example, sometimes at end-of-life people will see their deceased loved ones or beings of light at their bedside.
00:07:24.228 --> 00:07:40.309
I think that this is a really important thing that happens before death, because it eases the fear for the person who's transitioning and lets them know they're not alone, and also it helps a family to have hope that life is eternal and that there's something more than just our physical world.
00:07:40.309 --> 00:07:47.851
And sometimes those experiences can go against someone's faith.
00:07:47.851 --> 00:07:51.142
So, for example, I helped someone transition.
00:07:51.142 --> 00:08:00.300
She was a nun, sister Bernadette, and she told me she was seeing a sister, was coming to visit her Sister, mary Catherine, and I was like, oh, that's great, she goes.
00:08:00.300 --> 00:08:04.466
You don't understand, she's already gone to our heavenly father.
00:08:04.466 --> 00:08:09.514
And I was just like, oh well, I mean for me, I see people seeing dead people all the time.
00:08:09.514 --> 00:08:15.129
So I knew that she was within a week probably, and that was really exciting for me because we knew where we were along this journey.
00:08:15.759 --> 00:08:20.132
For her, this was distressing because it went against her Catholic faith to commune with the dead.
00:08:20.132 --> 00:08:25.781
And I said, well, you're not.
00:08:25.781 --> 00:08:26.723
You commune with the dead all the time.
00:08:26.723 --> 00:08:27.946
You talk to mother Mary and you talk to God and Jesus.
00:08:27.946 --> 00:08:30.692
And she's like no, no, no, I pray to them, I don't commune with them.
00:08:30.692 --> 00:08:35.273
And that's a very distinct thing for her in her, in her Catholic faith.
00:08:35.273 --> 00:08:43.620
And so I said, well, do you remember the story where Archangel Gabriel came to mother Mary and told her that she was going to have Jesus?
00:08:43.620 --> 00:08:44.743
And she's like well, yes.
00:08:44.743 --> 00:08:47.610
And I said, well, maybe that's what Sister Mary Catherine's doing.
00:08:47.610 --> 00:08:50.129
She's a messenger of God, maybe she's a vision.
00:08:50.129 --> 00:08:59.649
And that was a way we could work within her faith without it going against her core belief systems, and it was something that could bring her hope.
00:09:00.754 --> 00:09:09.822
That was beautiful and I guess, because you have some of that knowledge knowledge does that mean that you are a Christian or that you're just familiar with the Christian that well, christian or, in this particular, catholic.
00:09:09.822 --> 00:09:10.365
Are you Catholic?
00:09:10.365 --> 00:09:11.047
How did you know?
00:09:12.493 --> 00:09:17.846
I have a master's degree in world religions you're.
00:09:17.905 --> 00:09:25.547
So, matter of fact, I have a master's degree in world religions, kind of like you're, kind of I happen to have found the cure for cancer.
00:09:25.547 --> 00:09:29.397
Oh my God, that's fantastic, that's perfect.
00:09:29.397 --> 00:09:35.923
Isn't it amazing how everything has kind of just lined up for what you're doing now, and I'm sure you've seen the correlation I have.
00:09:35.923 --> 00:09:36.725
Yes, thank you.
00:09:36.725 --> 00:09:38.311
Yeah, that's, that's amazing.
00:09:38.311 --> 00:09:38.792
What a blessing.
00:09:38.792 --> 00:09:44.025
There's nothing, I think, more fulfilling when you realize that you're operating within your gifting.
00:09:44.745 --> 00:09:50.472
Yes, I agree very much with that, and sometimes people don't even see when they're doing it, but it is nice to have that awareness.
00:09:51.193 --> 00:09:52.115
Yes, it is.
00:09:52.115 --> 00:09:59.240
There's a certain empowerment, even when things are going kind of wonky.
00:09:59.240 --> 00:10:02.101
You know it's going to ultimately work out because you're operating within your gifting.
00:10:02.101 --> 00:10:02.381
That's right.
00:10:02.381 --> 00:10:03.722
Well, that's a pretty impactful experience.
00:10:03.722 --> 00:10:08.926
But I'm curious you say that you're an intuitive also, how did you come to?
00:10:08.966 --> 00:10:09.385
know that.
00:10:09.385 --> 00:10:24.653
So ever since I was a little girl I was four or five and I would have connection to spirit, to voices that were always very loving and helpful and they were always filled with light.
00:10:24.653 --> 00:10:47.782
Quite literally, they emanate light from the inside out, from my perception, and when I was very little four or five years old and I would get overwhelmed at home, I would go and sit in an empty bathtub and just focus on the silence, and it was oftentimes at that point that a voice or spirit would come and visit me and help me see things from a different perspective.
00:10:47.782 --> 00:10:52.873
So my family not very religious, my grandmother was a seven-day Adventist.
00:10:52.873 --> 00:10:57.971
I was technically raised Presbyterian, but we weren't always going to church.
00:10:57.971 --> 00:10:59.984
We were when it suited us.
00:11:00.063 --> 00:11:05.941
I guess as a family, and I don't know when I would tell people about these experiences with spirit, my grandmother would tell people about these experiences with spirit.
00:11:05.941 --> 00:11:07.826
My grandmother was very fearful about it.
00:11:07.826 --> 00:11:08.326
She made it.
00:11:08.326 --> 00:11:12.102
She was worried it was the work of the devil, things like that.
00:11:12.102 --> 00:11:25.414
Yeah, so I kept it to myself, but I found that the messages from I don't know God, universe, spirit, whatever the word is are always very validating, helpful and loving.
00:11:26.879 --> 00:11:43.265
So, in your experience of working with people who are in the process of passing on, what kind of skills do you use to bring comfort to the family, to bring comfort to the one who's passing on, or does it even work like that?
00:11:43.265 --> 00:11:48.008
I'm just curious as to how you manage the two, because the entities and what they need.
00:11:48.008 --> 00:11:54.245
They have some things in common that they might need, but also different stuff in terms of how they're gonna be ending up.
00:11:54.245 --> 00:11:57.690
So how do you bridge that and what skills do you use?
00:11:59.000 --> 00:12:01.067
So it is different on a case-by-case basis.
00:12:01.067 --> 00:12:06.587
Obviously, If someone is very strong in their faith, we apply the faith.
00:12:06.587 --> 00:12:14.428
That's a really good time to apply faith is during challenging times, so I honor their faith, whatever that looks like.
00:12:14.428 --> 00:12:23.115
If there isn't a lot of faith, if we're atheist or agnostic, or if we're dealing with someone who's really unsure in their faith, it's wavering.
00:12:23.115 --> 00:12:25.159
Then if they're open to talking intuitively's really unsure in their faith, it's wavering.
00:12:25.159 --> 00:12:29.331
Then if they're open to talking intuitively, I do do that as well.
00:12:29.331 --> 00:12:31.821
So that's another thing.
00:12:31.821 --> 00:12:42.479
If the family's open to it to discussing, you know, maybe, the spiritual aspect that isn't tied to religion necessarily.
00:12:42.479 --> 00:12:46.115
Also, I think it's really important to recognize where people are with their feelings.
00:12:46.585 --> 00:12:49.916
When I first started working with clients, I didn't want to cry.
00:12:49.916 --> 00:12:56.533
I wanted to be the strong one in the room that everyone knew they could rely on, and that takes a toll a little bit.
00:12:56.533 --> 00:12:57.769
You know it gets hard to do that.
00:12:57.769 --> 00:12:59.063
You come to love these people.
00:12:59.063 --> 00:13:01.453
They have terminal illnesses.
00:13:01.453 --> 00:13:14.567
You're with them for a long period of time often and you love them so much and so I do tear up and I do cry and I have found since then that when I do the family releases, they just break down.
00:13:14.567 --> 00:13:18.052
And then the client, because the person dying also does.
00:13:18.052 --> 00:13:29.217
And it's in those moments of being authentic and genuine and vulnerable like that that everyone feels okay to say what they're really feeling, and that is a gift.
00:13:30.524 --> 00:13:36.211
That is a beautiful gift, because there's nothing worse than having someone pass and you're feeling like you didn't get a chance to say what was really on your heart.
00:13:36.211 --> 00:13:38.326
I had that experience my mother.
00:13:38.326 --> 00:13:53.818
She was 56 when she died and she happened to be on her way to a board meeting and she was proceeding on the green and was hit by a fire truck that was responding to a smoke alarm who was going past the red and she died on impact.
00:13:53.818 --> 00:13:55.485
And it was shocking.
00:13:55.485 --> 00:14:02.326
I had two little girls at the time and had just had a baby who was like five weeks old, so hormonally I was all over the place.
00:14:02.326 --> 00:14:17.258
And then, of course, when that happened over time, like within about 25 years later, I had an anxiety disorder from pushing back, pushing back, pushing back some of those feelings and plus anxiety, is an offshoot of post-traumatic stress and menopause, which I was also in at 51.
00:14:17.258 --> 00:14:31.767
But going back to that time at 32, when my mom had passed, that night I was kind of asleep, kind of not, and I know that she came to me and I'm a Christian, I'm a practicing Christian.
00:14:31.787 --> 00:14:43.672
That was my mom sitting at the end of my bed and she looked very tired and she had on her favorite cowboy boots, and I remember that because when it came time to start going through her things, I could not find those boots anywhere.
00:14:43.672 --> 00:14:49.831
They were blue suede cowboy boots that she hardly ever wore because she was an immaculate dresser but cowboy boots was not her thing.
00:14:49.831 --> 00:14:52.068
So I don't even know where those came from, but I recognized them.
00:14:52.068 --> 00:14:53.676
When I saw them I said, oh, you got your favorite boots on.
00:14:53.676 --> 00:15:06.020
She had on some her jeans and this top, but her hair was kind of messy and she looked disheveled and she said, linus, I'm really tired, but I just want you to know it's going to be okay.
00:15:06.020 --> 00:15:09.293
I know you're upset, but it's going to be okay.
00:15:09.293 --> 00:15:12.274
And it was very, very real, very real.
00:15:12.274 --> 00:15:16.777
None of my other sisters, my dad, had that, just me.
00:15:17.826 --> 00:15:32.452
And then the next day, as I was sitting in the living room nursing my baby and you know in between on the phone, making arrangements and all that stuff, getting ready to go to my dad's house, there was this entity, whatever it was.
00:15:32.452 --> 00:15:38.051
It was like a bull charging down the hallway, like it was after me, and it scared the crap out of me.
00:15:38.051 --> 00:15:40.544
I called my dad and I scared the crap out of him.
00:15:40.544 --> 00:15:42.711
I said dad, cause he lived maybe five minutes away.
00:15:42.711 --> 00:15:43.975
I said, dad, you got to come over here.
00:15:43.975 --> 00:15:54.451
Right now there is a bull in my house, so my dad comes over and of course that entity was gone and I still don't know to this day exactly what that was.
00:15:54.831 --> 00:16:03.177
But I do know that there are things that go on while a person is transitioning and I have always been intuitive, so it could have been.
00:16:03.177 --> 00:16:05.731
That was the reason why I had those kinds of things.
00:16:05.731 --> 00:16:12.807
But could you share with us some of the other experiences you've heard families tell like that when it comes to the transition and things that they experienced?
00:16:12.807 --> 00:16:24.836
That might seem kind of crazy to other folks, and the reason why I'm asking you to do that is because I bet you people listening have had those same kind of experiences and haven't said anything to anyone because they didn't want anybody to think they were nuts.
00:16:24.836 --> 00:16:27.653
But I feel that sometimes these things happen.
00:16:28.615 --> 00:16:32.888
I mean, I could share hundreds, literally, of stories like that.
00:16:32.888 --> 00:16:37.437
It is such a normal occurrence that nobody talks about.
00:16:37.437 --> 00:16:45.313
That's what my goal is to normalize talking about death and to normalize talking about spiritual events around death.
00:16:45.313 --> 00:16:53.581
It is so important because it reminds us that we're not alone, there is something more and that everything is always okay.
00:16:54.043 --> 00:17:06.770
I love that story that you just shared because when my grandfather passed, I was not there and I was home alone with my son, who was probably six or something or five, and it was midnight.
00:17:06.770 --> 00:17:12.147
We were up way too late, and when my husband's out of town, my son would sleep in the bed with me, and I was.
00:17:12.147 --> 00:17:15.952
I heard every noise in the house, right Like when you're home alone, you hear everything.
00:17:15.952 --> 00:17:33.349
And so I had set the alarm and he climbs into bed and my dad had already held the phone up to my grandfather because we knew he was going to be passing earlier and I'm going to bed and all of a sudden, right before I turn off the light, my son said mommy, there's a man in the room and I was like, where?
00:17:33.349 --> 00:17:34.769
And he goes right over there.
00:17:34.769 --> 00:17:36.270
And then he snuggled up to me.
00:17:36.270 --> 00:17:39.228
I didn't see anyone there and I was like, okay, I didn't see anyone there.
00:17:39.228 --> 00:17:42.195
And I was like, okay, and he described what he looked like and he sounded like my grandfather.
00:17:48.204 --> 00:17:49.896
But my son had only known my grandfather in a wheelchair and with dementia.
00:17:49.896 --> 00:17:51.005
He didn't know the man that he was describing.
00:17:51.005 --> 00:17:58.990
So when he snuggled up to me he took my hand, he placed it on my heart with his hand and he said don't worry, mama, everything's going to be all right.
00:17:58.990 --> 00:18:03.068
And I was like, oh, okay, I turn off the light.
00:18:03.068 --> 00:18:08.026
The next morning my father calls me and I told him the story because he let me know my grandfather had passed.
00:18:08.026 --> 00:18:14.209
I told him the story the time that my son did that was the time that my grandfather had passed within a few minutes.
00:18:14.209 --> 00:18:19.465
And when I said the story to my dad, who was atheist, he got all choked up.
00:18:19.465 --> 00:18:29.369
I thought we had lost the phone connection and he goes last night I was there before daddy.
00:18:29.369 --> 00:18:32.965
He called him daddy died and I took his hand and I put it in mine and I placed it on his heart and I said don't worry, daddy, everything's going to be all right.
00:18:32.965 --> 00:18:36.911
I get goosebumps talking about it.
00:18:39.354 --> 00:18:44.839
It was a way of sharing that love with our family and knowing that life he's not gone.
00:18:44.839 --> 00:18:45.641
He's still here.
00:18:45.641 --> 00:18:49.154
He's just in a different space of here.
00:18:49.154 --> 00:18:53.036
He's still in different vibration or frequency or whatever the word is that's trendy to use.
00:18:53.036 --> 00:18:54.618
It's just a different level.
00:18:54.618 --> 00:18:55.204
That's amazing.
00:18:55.726 --> 00:19:18.510
And I know your writing focuses a lot on fostering love connections with oneself and others and emphasizing trusting personal experiences, which I think is so important, because these are our personal realities, no matter how strange they might seem to someone else, but just being able to tell the story you never know how helpful it can be.
00:19:18.510 --> 00:19:27.698
So how have these kinds of encounters that you've had over the years shaped your understanding of spirituality and the overall nature of existence?
00:19:29.365 --> 00:19:31.049
So I don't fear death.
00:19:31.049 --> 00:19:39.010
It's also transformed my husband, who doesn't like to really talk about what his beliefs are I'm not even sure what they are.
00:19:39.010 --> 00:19:41.076
He's very quiet when it comes to that stuff.
00:19:41.076 --> 00:19:43.201
What his beliefs are I'm not even sure what they are.
00:19:43.201 --> 00:19:44.204
He's very quiet when it comes to that stuff.
00:19:44.204 --> 00:19:48.573
But I see him doing a lot more deeds that are kind, being a lot more compassionate.
00:19:48.573 --> 00:19:55.093
I think when he hears the stories that I'm sharing, working with people in vulnerable states, it has softened him up and I think that that's part of it.
00:19:55.272 --> 00:19:56.055
I live now.
00:19:56.055 --> 00:19:59.067
I'm like I could die tomorrow.
00:19:59.067 --> 00:20:09.435
I'm always on the verge of am I living today exactly the way I want to live today, and I'm hopefully passing that on to my children and my husband.
00:20:09.435 --> 00:20:10.728
I can see it's rubbing off on him.
00:20:10.728 --> 00:20:27.887
You know, do what finds you joy every single day a little bit of excitement, a little bit of passion, something you know, and you are lit up right now, even a little bit, and I think it's because you enjoy sharing stories and listening to stories and helping other people to find relation and connection with each other.
00:20:27.887 --> 00:20:35.132
So every day, do something that you love, and that is how working with the dying community has shifted my life completely.
00:20:35.973 --> 00:20:37.196
That's amazing that you said that.
00:20:37.196 --> 00:20:45.819
In fact, I noticed I was reading some other things about you talking about the bright light, and one thing feedback that I get all the time is you have this bright light.
00:20:45.819 --> 00:20:51.509
You have this bright light and I don't.
00:20:51.509 --> 00:20:51.730
You know.
00:20:51.730 --> 00:21:00.217
I don't know what it is, but I do know that there comes a point in time, especially as you are going through that whole midlife experience of you know, on again, off again, craziness with your body going different directions.
00:21:00.217 --> 00:21:08.199
People are leaving your life, parents are getting old, your kids are growing up, emptiness is coming, retirement, what are you going to do?
00:21:08.199 --> 00:21:08.661
All this stuff?
00:21:08.661 --> 00:21:09.242
Okay, that happens.
00:21:09.262 --> 00:21:18.086
There are periods of profound clarity, if you allow it, and I just yeah, I just allowed the profound clarity of what it is I'm supposed to be doing.
00:21:18.086 --> 00:21:28.487
When I made the decision to leave Coffin American to do what I'm doing now, I had no idea how I was going to make money, didn't have a clue, but I knew it was something that I had to do.
00:21:28.487 --> 00:21:47.593
I was kind of like saving my own life, and my mother doesn't come to me very often, but when she does, there's always clarity in there and one of the things, one of the times I remember, you know, after maybe 10 years, after she passed, was you know telling me that she knows that.
00:21:47.593 --> 00:21:55.671
You know God had something else for me and when it comes to be very, you know to go ahead and be resolute and pursue it, be obedient to that call.
00:21:55.671 --> 00:22:00.436
So sometimes you get these messages and sometimes I get these signs all the time.
00:22:01.684 --> 00:22:02.788
I don't know if they're coming from her or my dad.
00:22:02.788 --> 00:22:14.450
My dad passed almost five years ago and because my mom died so early, he tried to take her place, which was like really ridiculous, because my dad was always, you know, traveling in his job.
00:22:14.450 --> 00:22:25.651
He was an executive very successful and then he was an elected public official and he was just always on all the time but not really aware of what was going on because mom was taking care of all that.
00:22:25.651 --> 00:22:36.660
But looking back at it now, it was all part of the order of things because he needed to be able to be close to us so that when his time came he would have no regrets.
00:22:36.660 --> 00:22:43.212
We would have no regrets because we really did get a chance to say everything we wanted to say to our dad before he passed.
00:22:43.694 --> 00:22:44.859
And that doesn't always happen.
00:22:45.102 --> 00:22:51.438
I didn't get a chance to have that conversation with my mom, but I realized, as a result of her passing, the importance of that.
00:22:51.438 --> 00:22:52.867
And that was always.
00:22:52.867 --> 00:22:59.773
One of my goals with my relationship with my dad is to make sure that I communicated to him all the things that are on my heart.
00:22:59.773 --> 00:23:06.297
So when his time came you know he wasn't really sick or anything, he was at the doctor's office and just passed out.
00:23:06.297 --> 00:23:10.615
He was on a regular routine appointment, passed out and just never came back.
00:23:10.615 --> 00:23:12.665
You know it was he was 87.
00:23:12.665 --> 00:23:13.669
It was just his time.
00:23:13.669 --> 00:23:18.218
But I felt a sense of peace because I had a chance.
00:23:18.218 --> 00:23:24.246
So for those listeners that have, they know the diagnosis of their loved one.
00:23:24.246 --> 00:23:27.855
They know there's something terminal going on there, or perhaps it's self, it's themselves.
00:23:27.855 --> 00:23:35.326
What kinds of conversations do you encourage them to have with their loved ones as they're going through this process?
00:23:36.626 --> 00:23:41.309
Kind and loving conversations, apologies if need be.
00:23:41.309 --> 00:23:43.211
Forgiveness is a really big point.
00:23:43.211 --> 00:23:44.873
Forgiveness is a strong word.
00:23:44.873 --> 00:23:46.534
Some people are really triggered by that word.
00:23:46.534 --> 00:23:50.576
They especially people who feel that they've been victimized by another.
00:23:50.576 --> 00:23:53.038
But you can use another word to reframe it.
00:23:53.038 --> 00:24:01.756
You can say unburdening or releasing, whatever that looks like for you, but I like the word forgiveness, yeah.
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