Conquering Imposter Syndrome and Embracing Financial Empowerment in Midlife Sales

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No one's giving away $100,000 a year for $10,000.

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I mean, so just do the math.

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They're definitely not doing it for $997 or $47 either.

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So that's just a cautionary word when you see all these advertisements.

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It takes work.

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You have to develop skills.

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You have to find the right types of clients.

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Sure, there's programs and systems that will help with that, but the reality is you have to put in the work right types of clients.

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Sure, there's programs and systems that will help with that, but the reality is you have to put in the work.

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Hi, I'm Linus Woods Mullins and I love to help women to vibe, to be more vibrant, intuitive, beautiful and empowered in midlife.

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So come on, let's vibe.

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I love to be able to tell women things that they can do to help them have a more positive midlife experience, things that they can do to help them have a more positive midlife experience, and that goes all the way from not just their health but the things that they're doing for their financial wellness.

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I have so many friends.

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Once they retired, they realized that what was in the little piggy bank isn't going to go far enough, and so the question becomes okay, what can I do?

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Or what am I going to do?

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And you know, no matter what you do and I've been an entrepreneur now for 17 years one of the things that you have to learn how to do is sell, and people say, well, that's a gift.

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You know, not everyone can do it.

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But that's not true.

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And our next guest is going to be talking about that particular thing how to sell with dignity.

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And the things he talks about really could be applied to anyone at any stage of life, and I'm just so excited to have with us Harry Spaeth.

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Harry, did I pronounce your last name correctly?

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You did Great job.

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Okay, I forgot to ask you about that part.

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I'm so glad that I did.

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Welcome to the Vibe Living Podcast.

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First of all, tell us a little bit about you and how you became such an expert when it comes to selling.

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Great.

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Well, thank you so much for having me, linus.

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Hopefully it will provide a bunch of value for your listeners.

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My journey has been a little bit different for many salespeople.

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Before I got into sales, I was selling something a little bit different.

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I was doing mission work, so I was selling a philosophical viewpoint on life.

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I didn't really look at it as sales, but it clearly was sales now that I understand what selling is, and from there I got into business to business sales in a hyper competitive environment.

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But I started to use the principles I learned in the mission world, which were all about serving people, taking care of people, providing value for people, being servant minded, and that stuff worked and I built a great career of it.

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Now I'm just sharing how small business owners can sell without the pushy, slimy tactics that are so prevalent that people want to avoid.

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You know I struggled with the idea of sales myself and I think a lot of it had to deal with the imposter syndrome feeling like am.

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I really good enough to be selling you know what is I do to ask for money for my services and all of that, and it took a little while for me to get there.

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I think a lot of people suffer from the imposter syndrome, but for midlife women in particular, there's a whole nother realm of imposter syndrome that can enter in that may not have before, because we worry about how we're perceived by society since we're older, supposedly, and do we still have value?

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So my first question is going to be how can one overcome the imposter syndrome in general, especially when it comes to cells?

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Yeah, the imposter syndrome is pretty prevalent.

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But you know, who doesn't have imposter syndrome are imposters.

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Once I realized that the ones that have it shouldn't and the ones that need to have it don't, I realized that, hey, we're just trying to serve people, we don't really have to worry.

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I mean, I know it's easy to say, but I had to get through it myself.

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I was saying things like I'm not an author, and this is very common.

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We say, well, I'm not this or that because we're comparing ourselves to someone who's further down the road than we are.

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And the reality is we can provide value.

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Out is not going to have the skill sets that someone's been doing it for 15 or 20 years, but that doesn't mean they can't help and serve people and earn a nice living and they continue to grow along the way, and that's true with all of us.

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So typically we feel like an imposter when we're starting out and we're comparing ourselves.

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So if we just compare ourselves to our past and see the progress we're making, I think it's much easier and even though we still have little shades of it periodically, we can dismiss it and say, look, I'm help, I'm here to help people.

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And if anyone wants to call me an imposter.

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Let them call me that, but it just doesn't come up.

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No one's called me an imposter yet.

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Has anyone called you one, linus?

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No, it's all in our heads.

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It really is.

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That made me think of something else.

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When it comes to what's going on in our heads, many times, when we're just getting started with something and it's new and now we're bringing in the idea of selling it and everything else, it's sometimes hard to get clear and to focus on the things that we want to say and want to do.

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Can you share some tips on how we can maintain some clarity and focus, especially when we're just beginning to start in the whole issue of selling whatever products and services that we want to produce?

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Yeah, I think what you really want to do is get down what you're doing, whatever it is.

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You want to have a clear, concise sentence or two maximum.

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So when someone asks you what is it you do, that answer is very specific.

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I just asked someone this past week and I said so what is it you do?

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And the person went I don't even know where to begin.

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And you want that well rehearsed because I mean I can understand, I mean this is what I do to help people.

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But you know, if they were in a business setting and they wanted to earn someone's trust in business and say I don't know where to begin, or I hate that question or I do so much they say all of these things, just say get it concise, a sentence or two, and say I work with people to help them with, or I work with people so that they and have a nice defined sentence.

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They have to start somewhere and instead of saying I do like 87 different things, get one or two things down and work from there would be my suggestion.

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What's your thought on that?

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I agree with you.

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You know it's interesting because one of the great things about being an entrepreneur is that you can call yourself whatever you want, and so, therefore, you have all these really interesting creative titles for people, but sometimes those titles, even though they're creative and great, it doesn't really say what you do.

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So leading with what you actually do and how you can help them is huge.

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You know, I believe that something very successful for entrepreneurs that they can do and I know it helps with sales is to lead with service.

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Instead of thinking all the time about the sales piece and you've got to sell this program or sell this product, lead for service, the service to figure out how can I help you.

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You know, what is it that you're in need of Now?

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Sometimes the person that you might be talking to may not need your services, but it's great to be able to have referrals, to be able to say, oh, I know such and such, and it's amazing how that comes back to you in other ways.

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I think sometimes we get so stressed out about, you know, making the sales.

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So how can we, as sales professionals or women starting businesses, begin to manage that stress?

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What are some techniques that you use?

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I love the question, first of all because we're thinking that sales is supposed to happen quickly and many find out later.

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I mean they're judging themselves and they're saying things like I'm not very good at sales or I need to be a better closer, and they're having the first conversation with somebody thinking that they're going to turn them into the client in one conversation.

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And it just does not happen that way generally, once in a blue moon maybe, but it is so rare you can't count on that.

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So understanding, like you said, is just continue to provide value for people, build trust, build the relationships.

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Just continue to provide value for people, build trust, build the relationships.

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Find out what they need, what your prospect or potential client needs, and serve them Eventually.

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I mean this.

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Sometimes it's going to take months and years for someone to say you know, linus, what you've been saying over the past few years is finally hitting home with me.

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What does it look like to work with you Versus you trying to close a person on the first or second conversation and say would you like to work together?

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And then you start pushing people away because they're not ready, they're not saying that they have a real issue and they're not looking to spend money to solve it until they figure those things out.

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Uh, my opinion is serve them, find out what they need, be of value for them, and when they connect problem, money and you're the solution, that's when you have a real opportunity.

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What's your thought?

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I agree with you and you know it's interesting.

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Interesting because one of the things that I've noticed a lot, especially with this whole coaching thing that popular when I first started, people were consultants.

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They're basically unemployed consultants, ok, and then it changed a couple of years later.

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That was back in 2008, 2009.

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Then, over time, there are all these coaches, you know.

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Over time, there are all these coaches, you know, and one of the things that is just really is a pet peeve of mine are the coaches of the business.

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coaches, let's say, out there saying that you can make you know five figures a month, you know just do this, this and this, and I quickly learned that a like does not equal a dollar and a follow does not equal a client.

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It doesn't work that way.

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Equal a client?

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It doesn't work that way.

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It's about planting seeds and being of service and being consistent and having a sense of integrity.

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But you know what, sometimes, especially when you're getting started, it's hard to stay inspired, encouraged and motivated because the money's not coming in the way you thought it was going to be.

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So what have you done and what do you advise others to do to maintain their motivation and their inspiration?

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Yeah, I think a lot of it is how you feed your mind and if you're just continuing to be frustrated.

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And look at what you just described, these advertisements and pitches that we see on social media where you're going to earn all kinds of money.

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It's not that easy.

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I mean, if it only costs $10,000 to earn $10,000 a month, I'm signing up.

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No one's giving away $100,000 a year for $10,000.

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I mean, so just do the math.

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They're definitely not doing it for $997 or $47 either.

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So that's just a cautionary word when you see all these advertisements.

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It takes work.

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You have to develop skills, you have to find the right types of clients.

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Sure, there's programs and systems that will help with that, but the reality is you have to put in the work.

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So to help you along the journey is that you have to feed your mind with, in my opinion, is with positivity.

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I'm a huge believer in that.

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We have to envision what we want and just work towards that, and in the meantime, we have to have peace of mind and gratitude so that we're not needy.

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Once we start showing people that we're needy, it's over for that opportunity.

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Yeah, that energy.

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They pick up on that energy and you never want to get to that place.

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That's why it's a great thing to have a plan in place, always with the idea that this is probably going to take a little bit longer than what you've heard.

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And you know what for me, I always go back to my why, why are we getting this in the first place?

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That's why it's so important to pursue whatever it is you want to do that you have a passion for that you're really excited about.

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You know, if you're excited about purple widgets and you come across an opportunity to get into a network marketing or something like that for orange widgets, that may not be the best choice for you.

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Now, if the network marketing opportunity is purple widgets, well, maybe so.

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But staying true to yourself and your passions, I think, is very important.

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I, you know, probably at least once across the day go back to remembering my why am I doing this?

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You know.

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Right yeah.

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And the other thing, too I've learned from a self-care perspective, and this is really important.

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I want to get your thoughts on this.

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You know, when I transferred from corporate America to entrepreneurism, I had no friends that were really entrepreneurs.

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I mean, they might have sold Mary Kay or Avon or something but, they still had their full-time job.

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I left my six-figure full-time job at the age of 51, almost 17 years ago, to open up this business.

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So when I began you know, sharing with my friends and stuff they were like you know, deer in the headlights.

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What?

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What are you talking about?

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You did what you know, and it wasn't that they weren't being supportive, they were just a little bit concerned that I'd lost my marbles.

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I am, you know, leaving corporate America.

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You know I got kids get ready to go to college, brand new home, all these things right.

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But so I learned that why I love my friends and they're still my friends this day I had to find another tribe that could kind of relate to the crazy things that I'm doing to begin my business.

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How important is that when it comes to you know, finding your tribe and how do you find them?

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Yeah, it's huge.

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I mean 100 percent agree.

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And what you did is not for everybody, no-transcript, where she would have been taken care of and people thought she was nuts, but she was following her passion and you can't judge that.

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And so, to answer your question, you have to find people that support you on that, because people wear you down.